Six obstacles to dating

I am constantly being reminded about my singlehood. There are some relatives and some Church leaders (e.g. the stake president who insisted that you weren't doing your duty if you didn't go on two dates a week) who make it seem like my life is meaningless because I'm not married. Sometimes it's the first thing they ask about me. I feel like I might as well throw my diploma away because my life is worthless because I'm single.

It's especially annoying when people insinuate that it's because I don't want to be married. I wish I were married. It irks me when I see abusive, negligent, or stupid parents reproducing like crazy, when an intelligent, responsible person like me has no kids. I get baby hungry. Well, more like toddler hungry.

I have a hard time dating, and I know I'm not the only one. I've thought about why it's hard, and I've come up with six obstacles to dating. These are ones that I have personally experienced or that I think other people experience. I provide these not as an excuse but as an explanation.

#1: Time. I know that you can make time for anything. But when there are lots of things going on, how do you fit time in for dating? There's work, school, homework, and various other activities. It can be hard to fit in dating.

#2: Money. College students are poor. This isn't really an obstacle for me now, but it is for a lot of people of dating age. A lot of dates require spending money, and when you're worried about paying rent or even buying food, how can you spend lots of money on dates? I know that not all dates need money. But that leads to the next obstacle.

#3: Lack of creativity. You have to think of other activities when you don't have a lot of money. For some people, that comes easily. For others, it's hard to come up with an activity for a date. Even if you have money, this can be a challenge, because dinner and a movie seems like a cop-out.

#4. Not wanting to spoil otherwise good friendships. Sometimes this is more psychological than real, but I have seen it happen. You may have a decent friendship, but dating can ruin it. Sometimes it's not necessarily because there's animosity, but simply because being friendly may signal that you are interested, even if you are not.

#5. Thinking the girl wouldn't want to be on a date with you. Sometimes we might think that the girl wouldn't want to go on a date with us. Even if she says yes, she doesn't want to--she only agrees because she doesn't want to create a feeling of rejection or because she knows she should, just like she knows she should eat vegetables. We don't want to bother girls if they won't like it.

This one is especially true for me. I hear stories about girls watering their pillows at night because they aren't asked on dates. I think, "That may be true when it comes to other guys, but not with me. If a girl had to choose between spending a Friday night at home alone, or spending it with me, she would pick spending it alone."

#6. A lack of girls you're interested in. Sometimes the obstacle is the simplest: there's just not a large pool of girls you're interested in, and those that do appeal to you may be already taken or may not be at all interested in you.

I've heard lots of married people wonder why so many of us find dating hard. Well, here are my reasons. These obstacles are surmountable, of course, but they are nevertheless obstacles.