It's no secret that I really like holidays. But that doesn't mean that I like every holiday. There are only eight or nine holidays that I formally celebrate (I'm still undecided about Pioneer Day), but there are lots of other holidays that show up on calendars and in other settings.
Since nothing worthwhile happens in the early part of January, I'm going to review the holidays that I know exist. In order for this to be a surmountable task, I'm not going to do any research. That would take too long.
New Year's (Eve and Day). When I was a young kid, I didn't consider this a holiday--probably because I wasn't in school to hear about it, since the New Year season happens over Christmas break. I added it to the canon of holidays I celebrate when I was ten or eleven. I count it separate from Christmas. There may be some overlap with Christmas--for example, I listen to any music that came out during the dying year, including Christmas music, and I eat anything I want, including leftover Christmas candy--but I try to keep the holidays separate.
Epiphany. This is the traditional end of Christmas, but since I'm a twenty-first-century American, it doesn't mean anything to me.
Martin Luther King Jr. Day. MLK was a great guy. I just don't know how to celebrate this day other than it being a day off. I also don't really like the shift from "Civil Rights Day" to "Martin Luther King Jr. Day." MLK certainly deserves his own holiday, but dedicating it solely to him seems unappreciative of the efforts of other people. As "Civil Rights Day," it still primarily honors him, but it honors others as well.
Groundhog Day. I don't mind that this holiday exists. I do mind that otherwise respectable calendars waste ink on this holiday. If I lived in Pennsylvania, it would be another story, but I don't. What can you do on this holiday? Absolutely nothing. It's not a day off. It's grounded solely in a superstition. I don't think I've ever even seen a groundhog. In fact, I hate to even acknowledge it; yet I must because some people seem to think it matters. It does not.
Chinese New Year. There actually was a time when I added Chinese New Year to the canon of holidays I formally celebrate, due primarily to the fact that my sister-in-law is from Taiwan. However, it is very difficult to celebrate an Asian holiday in America. You usually forget it's even happening, and no one's doing anything about it. Also, my usual style of celebration is to celebrate the holiday before it comes but not after, but Asians do it the other way around. And since it jumps around on the calendar in January and February, it just complicates things.
Mardi Gras. Since I'm neither Catholic nor Louisianan, Mardi Gras means nothing to me.
Lincoln's Birthday, Presidents' Day, Washington's Birthday. I lumped these together because I don't think it's possible to really analyze them separately. I think they created Presidents' Day because it was a little silly to commemorate two different presidents so close together. Why couldn't one of them have had a birthday in August? Presidents' Day is kind of MLK Day Part II: a much-needed Monday off during the most depressing time of the year. There's not really much you can do to celebrate the day. I certainly don't want to put up decorations of Woodrow Wilson and Richard Nixon.
Valentine's Day. This is probably my least favorite of the holidays I formally celebrate. Some people call it Singles Awareness Day (SAD). I'm not that cynical (usually), so I don't call it that. But I have to admit that in many ways, that's what it is, which is probably why it's not my favorite. For me, it's just a day of candy. But I'm all for candy. I also get excited for it to come, because there's been no major holiday since New Year's. But it is a poor substitute for Christmastime.
Pi Day. I think it's a remarkable coincidence that pi sounds like pie, and pies are round, which is what pi is used for. I guess I don't know why we need a day for pi when we don't have one for other mathematical constants. If pi were instead called livernunions, it probably wouldn't be anything special.
The Ides of March. If you hadn't read Julius Caesar in high school, you wouldn't even know this existed.
St. Patrick's Day. This is the most pointless of the holidays I formally celebrate. I'm not Irish. I've never been to Ireland. Yet I like it. I like thinking about leprechauns and pots of gold and eating green food. I just wish people didn't use it as beer day, because nothing good ever came of drunkenness. There have been lots of Irish immigrants, which is why we have the holiday, but it's weird we single out a single culture for a semi-big holiday.
April Fool's Day. I've never been big on pranks, other than your typical "There's a spider on your back!" I do like seeing what Google does every year, but it's not a meaningful day to me. And since I'm a boring person, nobody ever plays pranks on me. Which I appreciate.
Passover. Not being Jewish nor from a Jewish culture, I've never had any need to celebrate Passover.
Easter. What a peculiar holiday. There are two aspects to it: the Christian, Resurrection aspect, and the secular, eggs and bunnies aspect. They are very different. And having a day devoted to baby animals and colored eggs is very random. Sometimes I think, "That holiday actually exists?" But it's a fun day, so I formally celebrate it.
Earth Day. Held on April 22, Earth Day has only been around since the 1970s. This is a holiday that I think could become big, but at the moment it's not that big. It's important to have a day to think about our planet and what we can do to be better stewards of it.
Arbor Day. I primarily know about this holiday, the last Friday in April, because of It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown. It's really a Nebraska holiday, so if I lived there I might care more about it. It used to be a bigger holiday in Utah (in at least the 1930s, the LDS Church offices were closed on Arbor Day), but I think Earth Day has stolen the attention away from Arbor Day. Which is probably a good thing, because trees aren't the only important thing on our planet. But I do like to spend time among trees on Arbor Day.
May Day. You only hear about this day in elementary school. I did come across a mention of it being celebrated in a town in pioneer Utah, but today it has no relevance to us.
Cinco de Mayo. This holiday's bigger here than it is in Mexico, but I do suspect that it's gotten bigger there because it's bigger here. I love Mexican food, but this isn't really a day I celebrate. I can foresee it becoming a new St. Patrick's Day years from now, but for now I'll just use it as a reason to eat burritos.
Mother's Day. There was a time when I added Mother's Day to my holiday canon, but since all you do is give presents to your mom, there's not really much you can do to celebrate it. Also, every day should be Mother's Day.
Memorial Day. We often visit my grandparents' graves at Memorial Day. I like Memorial Day because it marks the beginning of the patriotic/Fourth of July season. Then there are those memes that make you feel guilty for having fun on Memorial Day. Pssh. Those who have departed would want you to have fun on the day. Don't make me feel like a terrible person for simply having a barbecue.
Flag Day. I mostly know about this holiday because it's my cousin's birthday, but it's very convenient that it falls between Memorial Day and Independence Day, making a continuously patriotic period.
Father's Day. Like Mother's Day, at one point I formally celebrated this one too, but it's even harder to celebrate than Mother's Day.
Canada Day. I'm not Canadian. Niagara Falls is the only part of Canada I've ever been to. It doesn't mean anything to me.
Fourth of July. My opinion of Independence Day has increased in recent years. I've always liked it and celebrated it, but I like it more now. It's an all-American holiday. And I don't mean that in the obvious sense. I mean that, while other holidays have become popular in more recent times, the Fourth of July has been a major celebration in America for almost as long as America's been around. I'm no historian, but my impression is that Independence Day was the biggest holiday of nineteenth-century America. My opinion of the holiday has gone up along with my opinion of summer.
Bastille Day. I shouldn't even mention this, because I only know about it because I studied French.
Pioneer Day. I'm still undecided on whether to formally celebrate this one, because it's not a national holiday. But I did have fun celebrating it last year. For years I didn't really celebrate it, and I scoffed at the notion of using patriotic decorations. After all, the pioneers of 1847 fled the United States for what was then Mexican Territory. But then I learned that at the very first Pioneer Day celebration in 1849, they used American flags and other patriotic American things, even though they didn't even have territorial status yet. (Utah's land became part of the U.S. in 1848. The pioneers didn't celebrate July 24 in 1848 because Brigham Young and many others had returned to Iowa.) Pioneer Day is therefore a valid continuation of the patriotic season. I think the recent trend of "Pie and Beer Day," commemorated by non-Mormons, is silly. It is a historic fact that Utah was founded by pioneers who just happened to be Mormon. You don't need to be religious to appreciate the pioneers. I think part of the problem is caused by Mormons who seem to make it Mormon Day. Your ward and stake floats about Book of Mormon stories and worldwide temples really have nothing to do with the pioneers or July 24. This needs to be a nonsectarian holiday.
Rosh Hashanah. Again, I'm not Jewish. I don't even know what people do at Rosh Hashanah.
Labor Day. I know someone who says this is his favorite holiday because you don't have to do anything to celebrate it. He's right. I don't formally celebrate it, but I greatly appreciate it because it heralds in fall.
National Talk like a Pirate Day. Oh, you mean Free Krispie Kream Donuts Day. I don't care about this day. I would only eat Halloween-themed donuts anyway.
Leif Ericson Day. I learned about this October 9 holiday when I was in high school and loved the idea of it. After all, he discovered America before Columbus, so why does Columbus get all the credit? Well...
Columbus Day. Although Leif Ericson might have discovered America first, his discovery didn't change the world. Columbus did. I'm amazed at how cynical people are about Columbus Day. First of all, it's hard to judge a person from 500 years ago. And even if he were just a completely evil person (and people rarely are), the fact remains that the world as we know it exists because of Columbus. Whether he was a good or bad person is irrelevant to that. Nevertheless, it isn't much of a holiday.
Halloween. I lied earlier. Halloween is the most pointless holiday I formally celebrate. But it doesn't seem pointless when it's so fun! I've found that people tend to love holidays near their birthdays. Maybe I love Halloween because my birthday's in late September. But part of what I love about Halloween is that it brings in the big holiday season. (There was also that phase I went through when I wanted to be a vampire...) Halloween is my third favorite holiday.
Election Day. This day is less of a deal now that you can vote by mail. I mean, last Election Day I couldn't even go to a polling place.
Veterans' Day. Thanks to the veterans for sacrificing so much--even everything--for our country. Too bad Veterans' Day isn't as fun as Memorial Day.
Thanksgiving. My favorite holiday! I love the food, the earthy colors, the stereotypical Pilgrim hats, the cool but not cold November weather, the days off, and the festivities in general. It's just wonderful.
Hanukkah. I think Hanukkah would be more like Purim and Rosh Hashanah if it weren't for Christmas and everyone feeling bad for the Jewish people. I wouldn't mind celebrating Hanukkah, but I don't know anyone who does.
Christmas. Some people say they don't like Christmas, but I think they're lying. I do think it's overrated, but it's rated so highly because it's so wonderful. I get sad when it's over. Christmas is second only to Thanksgiving in being delightful. I don't get, however, why it needs to start in early November (or earlier) and extend well into January (or later). Christmas already gets more decorations, candy, music, movies, and attention than any other holiday. Why does it also need more time?
Kwanzaa/Boxing Day. Here are two holidays I know nothing about that fall on the same day.
Here is my ranking of the eight holidays in my canon:
Thanksgiving
Christmas
Halloween
Fourth of July
Easter
New Year
St. Patrick's Day
Valentine's Day
Pioneer Day would probably be between Fourth of July and Easter, since it's really just Fourth of July Jr.
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