Weird feelings

I have some strange feelings right now. I don't know how to describe them but strange. And probably a little depressing. (I don't feel depressed, however.)

First, there's February. At least January's over, but February's not much better. Well, good thing February only has 28 days. Oh, wait...

Today my bishopric got released. At first I was thinking that I hadn't had them for a super long time--and then I remembered that I've been up here for half the time they were in the bishopric. If you recall, my bishop is President Eyring's son. I'm sad that we will no longer hear from President Eyring at Christmas and other times anymore. He actually came today, and they asked him to speak at the end. At the pulpit there's a sign that says "Please state your name" for fast Sundays, so he got up and said, "The sign says 'Please state your name.' My name is Hal Eyring." I'm a little sad, yet not as sad as I could be. Sad because unlike a conventional ward, he's not in the ward anymore, so I'm not going to see him on a regular basis. Not so sad because it's not like he's moving away or anything. I mean, I'll still run past his house on my street-running route. However, I was glad that when we sang "Each Life That Touches Ours for Good" at the end, we only sang one verse, because it would have made it harder to make it through the song.


I suspect that our ward will see a drop in attendance, as our outgoing bishop is probably the warmest, least judgmental bishop I've ever known. There are people who don't actually live in our ward boundaries who come, and people who are close to becoming too old, and I can see this becoming a turning point for them. It will be sad. But there was a lot of talk about the new bishopric having big shoes to fill, and President Eyring said they'll be able to do what the outgoing bishopric did and more, because they're not filling shoes but filling a place.

I know it's silly to feel weird after a dream, as it's a fantasy that exists only in your brain, but it happens. Last night I dreamed that I moved back to Provo; I moved in with my old roommate Jordan, but we each had private rooms. It's weird to me that I moved from Provo a year and a half ago. Two years ago, I was in my final semester of college. On my mission two years seemed like a while, but two years isn't very long at all. Well, it is and it isn't. Facebook tells me that two years ago, I responded to a "What character are you?" fad by making a snarky image. That was two years ago!?

Anyway, sometimes I miss Provo. It has its goods and its bads, like anywhere. I think I found myself in Provo. But I'm still at a point where I don't know where life will take me. My job has been extended through May, but I don't know what will happen to me after that, whether or not they will extend it again. But I don't really mind this temporary gig. In May I will have four years of experience with scholarly publishing, so these extra months will help give me experience.

Yesterday I was looking through the garage, finding things to get rid of. I found a box full of stuffed animals and other things. I don't consider myself a hoarder, but I do have a hard time getting rid of things because I can be very sentimental and remember backstories for most items--even if the backstory is meaningless. You probably saw me post the picture of the t-shirt that had a three-year-old me on it.

You can bet I didn't get rid of that, or most of the other things in the box. However, I did get rid of a bear that once belonged to my brother; I took it to DI. There were two things in the box that were in such bad condition that I couldn't even donate. One was a pink bunny that at one time could wiggle its ears and nose and play "Easter Parade." Now it's too dirty and broken to keep. The other was a toy lamb that had a music box inside that played Brahms's Lullaby. It was all dirty and had a missing ear. I threw the lamb and the bunny away. But I remember playing with them as a very young child, so I'm a little sad to get rid of them, even though they're junk.

Thanks for reading through my ramblings today. I try to find positive things about whatever time of the year it is, but it is a little hard to be positive about this time of the year.