Fifty things I don't like

Two years ago, I made a post about fifty things that I like.

Well, today, I'm going to make a post about fifty things that I don't like.

Now, there are lots of things that I don't like that could really get my blood boiling: bullies, criminals, drugs, drunk driving, political issues, etc. To keep this more lighthearted, I'm going to focus on more superficial things.

Here we go!

1. Ice. Ever since I slipped and landed on my teeth six years ago, I have hated ice.
2. January. It has a dearth of holidays (once New Year's is over), it has ice, it has darkness, and it has...
3. Smog.
4. Sports. Yawn.
5. The packaging of dress shirts. Why do they package them like that? It makes me less likely to buy them, because I don't want to try them on, because I don't want to take off all the packaging. And then if I do try it on but don't buy it, I feel bad that the employee has to put it all together again. Also, it's extremely wasteful of all that plastic, cardboard, and metal (pins). Whoever invented this should be tortured by being stuck with all the little pins.
6. Throw pillows. People tell me the purpose of a throw pillow is to add color to a room. There are other, better ways to do that. When I go to someone's house and they have throw pillows on their couch, I either have to sit awkwardly with the pillow behind me, or I have to move it and feel like I'm messing up their decorating. Dumb. 
7. While I do enjoy a good cheddar or mozzarella, there are a great many cheeses that I can't stand. If I get a salad with parmesan flakes in it, I have to pick them out. I don't like parmesan, brie, gruyère, Swiss, or others, but I can usually handle them if they're mixed with other stuff. The worst, though, is feta. You add that, and the whole meal is ruined. 
8. Speaking of feta, I don't like Greek food: Greek olives, Greek yogurt, feta, etc. Gyros are fine, but they don't taste as good as they look.
9. This week I went to an Ethiopian restaurant. There's a reason I had never had Ethiopian food. You don't even get utensils; you just eat weird foods with a spongy fermented bread. I hate wasting food, but I couldn't bear the thought of bringing my leftovers home.
   
10. Goathead plants. Come back to this blog in June (or look through my June archives) to see how much I hate it.
11. I had never heard of myrtle spurge until last year, but I had often seen it and wondered what it was. Now that I know it's invasive, pervasive, and rash-inducing, I hate it as well. (Still not as bad as goatheads, though.)
12. Excessive "sharing" on Facebook. I don't care about those recipes, conspiracy theories, or political or religious posts (even if I agree with them). Make the madness stop.
13. Breaking into small groups in Sunday School and elders quorum.
14. When awkward people talk too much or overshare in church.
15. Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving. I probably like Christmas more than you do, but when you have Christmas during Thanksgiving, it's insulting to Thanksgiving, but it also diminishes the specialness of Christmas.
16. Pop culture of the 1980s. Good thing I'm too young to remember the 80s, because I'm always amazed at how hokey they were.
17. I don't like a lot of singing from the 1950s. Specifically that weird rockabilly singing where they deliberately make their voices crack.
18. Being stopped at red lights. Sometimes I'll be driving and think, "Man, I really hate this song, I'm so tired of it." Then I realize it's not the song, it's the red light.
19. Steak. Once someone told me I didn't like steak because I'd only had it well done, but I like pink steak even less.
20. Seafood. Probably because I grew up in a desert.
21. Getting off of I-15 southbound onto 1300 South. Whoever designed that should be tortured by being required to drive that exit every day.
22. People complaining about Utah drivers. We don't have a monopoly on bad drivers, you know. Also, when people complain about them, it's with an air of, "I'm such a better driver."
23. People not shoveling their sidewalks even though they have immaculate gardens in the summer.
24. Penguins at Christmastime. I like penguins, but they're the wrong hemisphere for Christmas. If you want a cute polar bird, go with puffins.
25. Eight-pointed snowflakes. Snowflakes only have six points.
26. Bottled water. How selfish it is to use bottled water just because it's convenient! What a waste of plastic (and money)! But the worst is when I see a water bottle in the trash when there is literally a recycling bin right next to the trash can. Morons.
27. Hawaiian/Polynesian food. From what I've seen, it's just fatty meat with lots of carbs (white rice, sweet rolls, and gross macaroni salad).
28. Dogs. I know this makes me sound like a monster, but it's true. I like dogs individually but not collectively. The problem is that everyone thinks they're a good dog owner, even when they're not. I would argue that a good dog is better than a good cat, but a bad dog is way worse than a bad cat.
29. People saying "whom" when it should be "who." That shows you're trying to sound smarter than you actually are. (I don't care at all if they say "who" when it should be "whom." I'm not a prescriptivist anymore.)
30. People criticizing Utah (or other) accents. I've talked about accent shaming before.
31. College and high school rivalries. Why can't we just be friends?
32. Mushrooms. (As a food, that is. They're pretty cool to look at.)
33. Nevada. I don't mean to be offensive, because it has its good points. But most of the state isn't very attractive. Its biggest claim to fame is a city that is not family friendly. Once I was in Mesquite, and it was 100 degrees at 9 p.m. Why would you live there? As I drive along I-80 between California and Utah, the rest stops in Utah and California are just fine. But Nevada's are disgusting. It's the state that literally elected a dead Republican pimp. Oh, and I will never forget this astoundingly bad historical marker that says, "A squaw tried to save a child but was chased for days was caught and the child killed. Dedicated June 7, 6008." Yes, 6008.
    
34. When there is a whole row of seats (not assigned), and someone sits on the end of the row, leaving the entire center empty, so everyone has to walk over them to get to the inside seats. That's just inconvenient for everyone!
35. Singing the same few hymns over and over when there are so many good ones we never sing.
36. Wasps, hornets, yellowjackets, etc. (But not bees.) If I could have one superpower, it would be to kill wasps just by looking at them.
37. Dances.
38. Wedding receptions.
39. People taking horses or bikes on trails where those are specifically not allowed.
40. The movie The Polar Express.
41. "Jingle Bell Rock" and "Last Christmas." Covers of those songs are better than the originals.
42. Know-it-alls. Especially when they are wrong.
43. The song "Jackie Chan."
44. All the townhomes going up in North Salt Lake.
45. The fact that you're not allowed to cross the double white line in a carpool lane. I don't even think about using the carpool lane because it's so troublesome to get in and out.
46. People not using their blinkers. If you can't flip a switch, how can you possibly drive a car?
47. People speeding. If you deliberately speed, you have a sense of entitlement. Sorry not sorry.
48. Parallel parking. I'm not good at it, so I avoid it. I would rather park far away.
49. Groundhog Day. It's not so bad itself. But it's just a regional holiday based entirely on fictional things (the outcome is predetermined!), yet it gets more attention than Arbor Day, Patriots' Day, Mardi Gras, and Pioneer Day, all of which are regional holidays that are better and more meaningful.
50. Poorly designed, nonintuitive websites. 

I'm feeling blessed. I had to stretch and think a lot to come up with fifty.