Make the yuletide gay

Since this is my first Christmas out of the closet, the lyrics of old Christmas songs from my playlist hit differently this year: "make the yuletide gay," "don we now our gay apparel," "old hearts seem much lighter, young hearts seem more gay," “If a tear falls when you’re smiling, and you’re still gay inside,” "a story fantastic, a story so queer." I want to laugh each time.

Every year we get a new Christmas ornament that has something to do with our lives for that year. This was a momentous year, so my mom made a custom ornament for me. The U represents graduating from the University of Utah, the googly eyes represent my PRK surgery, and of course the rainbow represents my coming-out.

Every day I've been trying to do strength training and watch a Christmas show, but on Tuesday and Wednesday I was too busy doing proofreading and copyediting for Wayfare magazine. This beautiful magazine, devoted to "explorations in faith," has been a delight to read. And its articles and its contributors support people like me—which is important, because I feel like some people want to crumple me in a ball and chuck me in the trash. The magazine also has a lot of poetry, which isn't really my jam, but I'm glad it works for other people.

I was also unable to do those things on Thursday, because I attended the Lower Lights Christmas concert. My family has been attending since 2014, but they were cancelled in 2020 and 2021 because of COVID. So it was fun to be back! They always put on a great show. There have been a lot of personnel changes, but it's still an immensely talented crew. (And the most annoying singer, Ryan Tanner, is no longer in the lineup!) 

And speaking of Christmas music, I was also happy to receive my copy of the Super Deluxe edition of the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack. Of course, A Charlie Brown Christmas is one of the best Christmas albums of all time, and during COVID they found a lot of the original recordings and released them fifty-seven years later. This five-disc set has eighty tracks! Guaraldi was a genius. But these outtakes also include alternate takes where he messed up. That's a good reminder. Even the best of us mess up, and we often only see the final, polished version of others' successes, not their flaws and mistakes.

Merry Christmas!