Wisconsindiana

Whew, this post is going to include a very busy week and a half of vacation, so buckle up! 

On Tuesday, May 20, I boarded a flight with my sister, Susanne, and my niece, Allie, to meet my parents in Wisconsin, because they had already driven out there as part of this road trip. My primary point of reference for Wisconsin is that it's the home state of a jerk we know, so I hoped to form some new associations.

My parents picked us up at the Madison airport, and then we went to Wisconsin Dells. My parents bought a timeshare in the '00s, so we stayed several days at a hotel/condo that was part of their timeshare. Wisconsin Dells is a tourist trap with lots of water parks. 

That first night we went to a quirky restaurant called Buffalo Phil's that delivered the food via a Mister Rogers–esque train.

On Wednesday, May 21, my family was excited to go to a Paul Bunyan–themed restaurant for breakfast, and they even had us all wear matching red buffalo-check shirts. It seemed like making a big deal over a mediocre restaurant with a very tacky gift shop. 

We also went to the water park attached to our hotel. They had two big waterslides, and I think I went down each six times. Ever the rule follower, I felt embarrassed when the lifeguards called me out for breaking rules twice (using the lazy river without a tube and going on the kiddie slide).

On Thursday, May 22, we went on rides to see the Wisconsin Dells, the river that's the namesake of the tourist town. First we went on a duck ride, and I was expecting a boat that looked like a giant rubber duckie. (I swear I've seen pictures of such boats existing!) Instead, we were on a WWII-era amphibious vehicle. It was cool to be on a vehicle that could drive on land like a truck, then suddenly be a boat; I have never been on an amphibious vehicle before. And it was also cool that it was from 1944! The tour itself of the Lower Dells was good but not fantastic. 

We also went on a longer ride on a tourist boat on the Upper Dells. It was a pleasant ride that took us to two stops: first a very small hike in a place called Witches Gulch, 

and then on a different loop trail where they had a dog jump onto a rock pillar. Apparently there is a very famous photograph from the late nineteenth century where the photographer's son is jumping onto this pillar, thereby proving that he could photograph motion. Today they have the trained dog jump so people can re-create the picture.

After the boat tour, we explored the tourist town's Main Street. The Wisconsin Dells are cool, but I am surprised that such a tourist trap developed around them. I guess I'm spoiled living in the West, because so many of our natural features are so much cooler.

On Friday, May 23, we went to a lake called Devil's Lake, and my cousin Cannon, who lives in Wisconsin, came and met us there with his family. Apparently this lake gets very busy in the summer, which surprises me, because it's a fairly small lake. But it wasn't too busy when we were there. It was also too cold to do anything in or on the lake itself. However, my dad and I hiked up the nearby hill with my cousin, his wife, and two of their kids. This region has a lot of glacial deposits from the Ice Age.

On Saturday, May 24, we finally left the hotel in Wisconsin and drove to the Upper Peninsula of Wisconsin. We went to a mineral museum belonging to Michigan Technological University. The minerals were cool, and it was a lot to take in. I minored in geology, but I didn't take the mineralogy class, because it had a lot of math and science prereqs, and I have a humanities brain.

A rock formed from a lightning strike

Picture sandstone from Kanab, Utah

Then we spent two nights in Hancock, Michigan, at a charming rental in a building that was a 1910 schoolbuilding. It was converted into apartments in 2019.

On Sunday, May 25, my family opted to break the Sabbath, and I was along for the ride. This region of the country had a major copper-mining industry, so we toured the Delaware Mine. We went down a hundred feet into the earth to the first level of the mine. But when it was actually used for mining, there were eight more levels! Today the other levels are filled with water.

Above ground, there were remnants of various mining buildings from the late nineteenth century.

There was even a site where Indigenous peoples had mined copper thousands of years ago. 

The rest of the day, we drove around the peninsula on the UP, and we made various stops to see Lake Superior. I put my fingers in the lake, and it was very cold. But it might be fun to visit in August.

On Monday, May 26, Memorial Day, we drove across the Upper Peninsula to our next destination. We even drove through a town called Christmas, but we didn't stop. The UP has many pasty shops. (Pasty rhymes with nasty, not tasty, even though they are more tasty than nasty.) A pasty is a handheld pot pie, and Cornish miners would have them for lunch. When we stopped in one town, I was happy to get pasties for us. (I was, however, disappointed that this shop's pasties did not have the iconic empanada shape.)

The font for "Miners" on this sign looks like something from my elementary school years in the 1990s!

A gift shop even sold chocolate shaped like pasties!

We arrived in Sault Ste. Marie. "Sault" in this case is pronounced "Soo," even though that's not how it's said in French. But it was established in the seventeenth century, and maybe it was pronounced closer to "Soo" back then? I think it's funny that both Sault and Sioux are pronounced Soo.

We toured a museum on a boat called the Valley Camp, which was built in 1917 and was used as a ship until the 1960s. This museum did not follow best practices for exhibits, and I'm not especially interested in machinery. But it was cool to be on the old boat and see all the twentieth-century history. 

They even had an aquarium of native fish!

Then we got on a boat to tour the St. Marys River between Lake Superior and Lake Huron. We went through the locks between these lakes. 

You can see how far the water went down in about ten minutes in the lock.

Ugh, why do modern Gilligan's Island toys have to be Funko POP!s?

Then that evening, we used our passports to cross the border into Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada. We ate at a restaurant, and I wanted to try Tim Hortons, which I suppose is the Canadian equivalent of Dunkin'. They had a seasonal chocolate marshmallow donut, like s'mores without the graham. 

It was a very brief trip into Canada, and I'm not sure the bridge toll and passport check were quite worth it. But it did make it an international vacation!

On Tuesday, May 27, my dad's birthday, we got on an expensive boat to take a trip to Mackinac Island in Lake Huron. Despite the spelling, it's pronounced Mackinaw. This island has a state park and a town where some people live, but it's mostly a bustling tourist spot. Automobiles have been banned on the island since 1898. People get around via horse-drawn carriage or bicycle, and there are numerous bike rental shops. As we arrived on the island, I thought that nothing sounded better than riding a bike around a carless island. While my family looked at stores, I rented a bicycle. Then I rode the perimeter of the island, which was eight easy miles. It was lovely to be on the shores of Lake Huron and pass all the summer homes. 

The bike shop gave me a map, and it also showed spots to see in the interior of the island. Once I finished the perimeter, I decided to go inland. I gave up following the map and just biked wherever I felt like, but I still hit the important spots. Parts were hilly, but I'm used to biking hills. The most annoying part was sharing the road with horse-drawn carriages. It was basically a perfect day; I didn't get too hot in my hoodie.

The view from the island's highest point

Memorial Day weekend kicks off the Fourth of July season for me, so it's also the season of ice cream, lemonade, s'mores, and apple pie. Fudge is a very popular treat on Mackinac Island, so I bought fudge in the flavors of s'mores and apple pie.

And lilacs are also apparently a big thing on Mackinac, so I got lilac-flavored ice cream and lilac lemonade.

Hey, look! A Chappell Roan song in real life!

Then we got back on the boat to return to the mainland. Then we drove across the bridge to the Lower Peninsula, and we stayed the night in Gaylord, Michigan. 

Wednesday, May 28, we drove most of the day down Michigan and into Indiana, dropping off Susanne at the airport along the way, since she needed to get home. My cousin Krishelle lives in Indiana, and we met their family at the softball game of one of their daughters. We spent the next two nights at Krishelle's house.

Thursday, May 29, was the reason we went to Indiana, rather than sticking to Michigan and Wisconsin. I needed to make a pilgrimage to Santa Claus, Indiana, the home of Holiday World, an amusement park.

Holiday World is exactly what it sounds like. And so, you know, it is exactly the kind of place that is tailor made for me.

There are four holiday sections in the park: Christmas,

4th of July, 

Thanksgiving,

and Halloween.

There was also a waterpark section (Splashin' Safari) and a children's section, but I wasn't interested in those nonholiday areas.

I wanted to start the activities in Thanksgiving, and first we walked through Christmas and 4th of July to get there. In Thanksgiving, the speakers played instrumental folk covers of classic rock songs. I rode a rollercoaster called the Voyage, which I think was the first rollercoaster I have been on since I went to Disneyland in 2013. Then my niece and I rode the tame Turkey Whirl.

All four of us rode Gobbler Getaway, in which you ride cars and try to shoot blue lights that indicate where turkeys are hiding. There were various animatronics, and it was an autumnal 1785 setting.

Then we had lunch at Plymouth Rock Cafe, which serves Thanksgiving food. The cashier was evidently new, and she seriously undercharged me, so I had to go back not once but twice to make sure I was paying for everything. There was also another customer who had a discrepancy.

Then I rode the Mayflower, which is just like the Tidal Wave at Lagoon. The Thanksgiving section really minimized the Pilgrim connection, which is fine with me, but the Mayflower was an exception. (I didn't ride the Indigenous-themed ride, the Thunderbird, because I thought it was in Splashin' Safari for some reason.)

Then I rode Good Gravy!, which is a newer ride. The cars are inspired by a gravy boat, and the ride goes both forward and backward. This was my favorite ride in the whole park: it was less intense but still had some thrills, and it had a charming, homey, culinary theme. 

Then we headed into Halloween, where the speakers played 1960s monster songs. I rode the intense coasters the Raven and the Legend. Despite the names, the rides weren't really themed (and neither was the Voyage). 

And Allie and I rode the HallowSwings and Scarecrow Scrambler. 

In the Halloween section, we also observed a circus-style show. There were acrobatic acts, motorcycles inside a round metal cage, and a smokin' hot guy on a water-propelled hoverboard.

It was all very impressive. It did seem like it would have been more appropriate for the 4th of July section.

We then proceeded to the 4th of July section, where the speakers played old-timey, Dixieland-esque music. The rides were patriotic or themed around American history. Three of us went on the Lewis & Clark Trail, which was little Jeeps on a fixed track.

And Allie and I rode the Firecracker.

Then I made my way to Christmas, which only had kiddie rides but lots of food and a big gift shop. The speakers played the kinds of Christmas songs you would hear on the radio. This part of the park relies more on atmosphere than on attractions.

I got an ice cream cone with Christmas cookie and Holiday World (the park's colors) flavors.

I was really impressed with this amusement park. They had stations with free sunscreen and free fountain drinks all throughout the park! And the park rules explicitly forbid Confederate flags and swastikas. I thought the prices were reasonable, especially because it was a clean park. It was better than Lagoon (though to be fair, I haven't been to Lagoon since 2012). And it might not be as great as Disneyland, but for me it's better, because I like holidays more than I like Disney. It was so quirkily charming. I had to laugh to myself a few times, because I couldn't believe they could have Thanksgiving decorations up all year and say "Happy Halloween!" when a ride was done. It seemed so niche, a niche that could not possibly be more up my alley. The day we were there was not a busy day, so all the ride lines were short.

It would have been nice to stay longer in Holiday World, but there were other things we wanted to see in Santa Claus. But I got multiple souvenirs.

Good Gravy! had the best branding of all the rides. The eagle is named George and is one of the park's four mascots.

Then we went to the Santa Claus Museum, which wasn't a great museum, but it was free and charming in its own way. They let children fill out letters to Santa, and then they get letters in return. They put some of the letters on display. 

And there was also a giant Santa Claus statue. 

We also visited Santa's Candy Castle, which was highly recommended. On the inside, it was mostly like any other fancy candy store you'd find in a tourist trip, except it was playing Christmas music in May.

There was also a grocery store called Holiday Foods. I love going to random grocery stores, so I especially had to go to one called Holiday Foods. I was not disappointed: I was able to buy the lemonade chips I had been looking for all through the trip, and I got eggnog socks. 

Finally we left Santa Claus, and we stopped at a historic site where Abraham Lincoln spent part of his child. 

This is the site of his boyhood cabin

On Friday, May 30, Krishelle's youngest children tried to give me their stuffed animals before we left. It was surprising, adorable, and endearing. Luckily, we convinced them that I would always remember the toys, so I didn't have to take them and feel like I was stealing from children. My parents drove me and Allie to the St. Louis airport, so we drove through Illinois and a little bit of Missouri to finish off the trip.

It was a lovely vacation. Mackinac Island and Holiday World were my favorite parts. And I'm also glad to be back home.