It was a very good year

In society at large, 2017 was even worse than its predecessor: fires, floods, hurricanes, an orange person in a white house, shootings, and more.

But in my personal life, 2017 was a great year! I'm usually a little sad at the end of the year, but I'm not really sad this time, I think because I felt satisfied with 2017. A new car, a new cat, solar eclipse, three major concerts, holiday bucket lists--I enjoyed this otherwise terrible year.

January. January wasn't very eventful, so my blogs were about topics, rather than what was going on in my life. (I was going to provide links throughout this reminiscence, but all my posts are accessible on the sidebar, so I'm not going to put in the work, especially if no one would read them.) I went to a fireside with Cherie Call, my favorite singer, and she offered to send me a copy of her first Christmas EP for free, since I'm her biggest fan and it's not available for purchase.

February. Our fourteen-year-old cat, Jenny, became very sick and quit eating. We took her to the vet, and they cleared an abscess from her hindquarters, which restored her to health. It bought her five more months.

 I got copies of two major books: Settling the Valley, Proclaiming the Gospel: The General Epistles of the Mormon First Presidency and At the Pulpit: 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women. I helped out in substantial ways on both of these books. I got fitted for new suits and new glasses, but they wouldn't be ready until March.

March. The snow melted, marking the return of trail running season.

 On St. Patrick's Day, I went to Relief Society lunch where we heard the experiences of an African refugee and local Relief Society president. My cousin Tammy and her family visited, and we went to an escape room. I ate lots of green food.

April. I wanted to attend an Easter concert, and I actually went to two. One was at St. Olaf's Catholic Church, and one was the Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert.

 I enjoyed Eastertime, even though I had stake conference that weekend. :/ I went to the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving Point and discovered the local Springhill Geologic Park trail.

May. My ward went to the Salt Lake City Cemetery, and I worried I came across as a know-it-all. I got new running shorts that had mesh pockets, so whenever my phone in my pocket hit my thighs, it acted like I was touching it, and my phone did all sorts of crazy things--playing music, taking pictures and videos, calling people, drafting texts. On Memorial Day weekend, we fed the missionaries of my ward, and on Memorial Day, I ran up Kenney Creek Trail to an old miner's cabin. ("Ran" is generous; I did run up the whole thing, but I did lots of stopping.)

June. I picked lots of cherries from my sister's tree to use in various dishes. My ward took a three-day trip to Fayette, Utah, which might have been my first time in Sanpete County. I went to Yuba State Park, and we went to the Manti Temple, where there were cattle roaming freely across the temple lawn and through the town.

July. July was a very full month. On July 1, the ward outing went to Palisade State Park, and I returned home. On July 2, my nephews (and my sister-in-law and her sister) came into town. On July 3, we went to North Salt Lake's fireworks. On July 4, we went to the Centerville parade. I started to run up Holbrook Canyon, but I twisted my ankle. I still went to see the National Parks (band) in northern Davis County. During my nephews' visit, Jenny got really sick, and on July 10, we had to put her down. That was the saddest I've been in a while. We buried her in the backyard. I went to the Draper Days parade and to my high school ten-year reunion. My family took a vacation to New York. We flew into NYC on a red-eye flight. My fatigue made me hate the city the first day. After I was better rested, I didn't hate it as much.

 I much preferred the upstate portion of vacation, where we went to Niagara Falls and spent several days in a house on Big Sandy Pond near Pulaski, NY. We visited my great aunts Mary Lou and Lynn--I had never met Lynn before.

August. We met a long-lost great-uncle who is an astronomer, who was passing through Utah on his way to see the solar eclipse. I went to my uncle's house with my friend David in Lander, Wyoming, that we might be in the path of totality of the solar eclipse. Everyone in the country was excited about the eclipse. Sorry, but if you didn't see totality, your experience wasn't as interesting as you think it was.

 I went on a small excursion to Little Cottonwood Canyon.

September. Pumpkin season returned! As I was preparing for my twenty-ninth birthday, I test drove lots of cars. I made lots of homegrown grape juice. I was given tickets to see Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. I had my golden birthday--29 on the 29th--and the next day I bought a shiny, blue 2017 Toyota Rav4 Hybrid Limited.

October. I drove my new car to Fish Lake to see Pando. I ran my first half marathon, the Halloween Half wearing my Vector costume, which was more exhausting than I expected it would be. I bought a new used cat, Jimmy. I feel bad for him, because he had all four paws declawed, he's missing a tooth, and he had been at the Humane Society for a long time. But I'm glad we can give him a nice, comfortable home. He's about eight years old, and he's the sweetest kitty, though he's pretty skittish.

November. I thought it would be fun at Thanksgiving time to go to Plymouth, Utah, so I went with my friend Shane, and we also went to Crystal Hot Springs.

 It was a warm Thanksgiving, and I ran to City Creek Canyon from my house and exhausted myself. On the day after Thanksgiving, I went to Katy Perry's Witness tour with my sister and my niece.

December. I went to see my other favorite singer, Lady Gaga's Joanne tour. I went with my sister and niece again, and this time my sister-in-law joined us, because she and my nephews came in for Christmas. I had one of the best Christmases I've ever had. And as of Friday, I am unemployed. My contract with the Church History Department is over, so I am beginning my job search.

I cleared room on my shelf for the books and journals I helped with at BYU Studies (2012-2014) and the Church History Department (2014-2017).

It was a wonderful year!

Here are reviews I wrote that were published on The Impulsive Buy in 2017:
Red Velvet Kit Kat
Brach's Dessert Hearts Conversation Hearts
Malt-O-Meal Cookies and Cream Cereal
Hostess Shamrock CupCakes
Hershey's Eggs with Pretzel Bits
Chick-fil-A Smokehouse BBQ Bacon Sandwich
Little Debbie Red, White, and Blueberry Creme Rolls
Cookies & Screeem M&Ms
Werther's Pumpkin Spice Soft Caramels
Brach's Chocolate Mint Cookie Candy Corn
Nature Valley Pumpkin Spice Granola Bars
Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Cobbler Cookies
Hostess Peppermint Twinkies
Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits
Brach's Fruit Cake Nougats
Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes
7-Eleven Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate

This year I also did a holiday bucket list. I accomplished most everything on it (except New Year's isn't over yet). However, I did not attend a St. Patrick's Day parade; all the close ones were the day after, and that didn't count, so I just walked the parade route. I didn't hear an owl hoot at Halloween, even though I put myself in positions to hear it, but I did have my Echo make owl noises. And my Christmas caroling was just me walking around singing to myself.

Make resolutions	wear heart clothing	wear green	Find eggs	Watch fireworks	attend parade	Trick or treat	Cook	Go caroling
Reflect on the past year	go on a date	pinch someone not wearing green	find basket	light fireworks	light fireworks	dress up	Have Thanksgiving dinner	Send Christmas cards
Count down to midnight	make a valentine	go to an Irish concert	Attend Easter concert	light sparklers	Go to historic pioneer place	give to trick-or-treaters	see wild turkey	Go sledding
Attend party	receive a valentine	go to a St. Patrick's Day parade	Read Easter story	throw snaps		rake leaves	rake leaves	bake
Light fireworks	give a valentine	Eat green-dyed food	attend church	attend parade	saltwater taffy	watch scary movie	Go over a river	Donate to Salvation Army kettle
Have balloons		Irish stew	Color Easter eggs	run race		Go to corn maze	Go through woods	Have real wreath
Throw confetti	conversation hearts	Irish soda bread	jelly beans	Go to American historic place		candy corn	Visit a grandmother's house	Have real poinsettia
use confetti poppers	chocolates	Corned beef and cabbage	chocolate bunny	Barbecue		caramel apple	Donate to food bank	Have real tree
Play "Auld Lang Syne"	chocolate covered strawberries	See shamrocks (or similar plants)	carrot cake	Smell firework smoke		pumpkin cheesecake	Give thanks/express gratitude	Make garland of popcorn and cranberries
Watch the ball drop	red velvet cake	potato	Peeps			pumpkin spice	play in leaves	Put up Christmas lights
Use rattle noisemaker	red velvet cupcake		eggs			apple cider	turkey	Buy presents
Use horn noisemaker			carrot			popcorn ball	cranberry sauce	Wrap presents
Use paper blow-out			Roll eggs down hill			Halloween candy	stuffing	give to charity
Urban nightlife				Hot dog		pumpkin pie	roll	watch Christmas movie
				Hamburger		bob for apples	pumpkin pie	Attend Christmas concert
				Bomb Pop		eat donut from a string	pecan pie	Attend church
						hear owl hoot	mincemeat pie	make gingerbread house
						play in leaves	apple pie	eggnog
						see a black cat	pumpkin	candy cane
						attend a Halloween party	pumpkin cheesecake	peppermint candy
						carve a pumpkin	squash	ribbon candy
						pumpkin seeds	candy corn	peppermint
							spiced cider	wintergreen
								spearmint
								gingerbread
								gingerbread man
								wassail
								hot chocolate
								spiced cider
								orange
								cranberry
								cranberry orange
								Read Christmas story
								Read A Christmas Carol
								Sing in a choir
								Give presents
								Unwrap presents
								Receive presents
								Have a stocking
								cinnamon
								nutmeg
								clove
								mint
								pumpkin pie
								make a paper chain
								Decorate a tree
								Perform service
								See Santa Claus
								light a candle
								gumdrop
								play Christmas music
								Display Christmas cards
								sugar cookie
								look at Christmas lights
								Maintain advent calendar
								hang garland
								shovel snow
								Catch snowflake on tongue
								chime
								hear a bell choir
								watch a holiday TV special

Wonderful Christmastime

I thought the Christmas season got off to a rough start. I mean, I ran up North Canyon twice after Thanksgiving because the weather wasn't very Christmassy. I set up a Christmas bucket list to make the season more festive, but I found myself worrying if I'd be able to get everything done.

But now it's Christmas Eve morning, and I've been feeling more Christmassy and joyful.

On Wednesday, my boss gave me and my two immediate coworkers Christmas gifts. I think most of his gifts are ones he gets free and then gives away. He had three wrapped gifts, one for each of us. I suspected that mine was the CD of last year's MoTab's Christmas concert, since I had seen it on his windowsill since September. But instead he said, "This isn't actually your gift. I was going to give this to you, but then I found this other gift instead." (I was a little relieved, because I didn't like last year's MoTab guest.) What he actually gave me was a seasonal cookbook, with recipes for each holiday/month! He knows me well. Then he took us to lunch as a farewell, since my contract is up at the end of the week, and it might have been the last time I will see him as his employee.

It was on my bucket list to decorate a gingerbread house, so I helped to make this one.

My nephews decorated graham cracker houses. They were mostly interested in using all kinds of candy so they can eat it. We had lots of Christmas candy, but we also had some leftover stuff from Halloween.

Nathaniel used Veggie Chips Ghosts and Bats to make "masks" for his Peeps Snowmen.

Preston had an open house that he dumped all the candy into.

 We have had our cat, Jimmy, for two months now. Even though I bought him, he has loved my mom the most. But since his routine has been disrupted with my nephews in town, he has been hanging out with me, sleeping on my bed and nuzzling against me. I don't know how he was taken to the Humane Society at least twice, because he's such a nice kitty. But I've never known a cat to shed as much as he does. There are clumps of fur all over the house, and my bed, and my clothes, and my face. Nathaniel (7) said that maybe he likes me because he thinks I saved him "from the torture," because we have speculated that he was abused by a previous owner--he's pretty skittish, and he's missing a tooth.

It was also on my bucket list to go sledding, so my brother and I took my nephews to the golf course to sled. I went down several times, but I'm really too scared to do intense sledding--I kept deliberately slowing myself. I don't think I would do well with skiing or snowboarding. :/  I was able to slide down just on my belly with my coat and no sled.

The boys also wanted a break for a snowball fight.

When I would run back up the hills after sledding down, the jingle bells on my Christmas tree hat were making festive noises. It was a lovely snowy day, and I thought, "This is so magical!" It's a great Christmastime. 

I have also been playing my Christmas playlist, which is the best it's ever been. I have just about every genre of music represented in some way: pop, rock, country, jazz, Baroque, heavy metal, rap, choral, EDM.

Merry Christmas!

The applause, applause, applause

On Presidents' Day this year, at the beginning of the St. Patrick's Day season, I had a mint brownie from Kneaders on the same day I bought tickets to see Lady Gaga.

On Thursday, ten months later, I had another Kneaders mint brownie, the same day I used those tickets to see Lady Gaga.

I bought four tickets that day, having no idea what I would do with them ten months later. I invited my sister and my niece, but what about the last one? But then, as it got closer, we learned that my sister-in-law and my nephews would fly in for Christmas--and my sister-in-law, Ya-ping, could come with us.

When I came home from my mission eight years ago, I was sick of being so weird, awkward, and nerdy, so I began following pop music to try to normalize myself. As my tastes became more refined, I recognized just how talented Lady Gaga is. In 2011, "Born This Way" became the first digital song I ever purchased. I like her pop stuff, but I have especially loved the more stripped-down, rock-like songs that showcase her strong vocal abilities: "Brown Eyes," "Speechless," "You and I," "Gypsy."

Then last October, she released an entire album of those songs: Joanne. I love Joanne! It's almost everything I ever wanted from a Lady Gaga album. The songs might not have the same catchy hooks as her pop stuff, but there's none of the electronic sounds that disguise her voice. It's pure Gaga. Some people have called it a country album; that's a bit of a stretch, but there definitely is a country influence (especially in "Sinner's Prayer").

And except for the song "Dancin' in Circles," this is her cleanest solo album. (Cheek to Cheek with Tony Bennett doesn't count.) True, there are three songs with an "explicit" label, and I don't listen to unedited versions of those songs, but they are only explicit because of one word in each of the songs--words that Taylor Swift and Jason Aldean get away with without ever getting an "explicit" label. The topics of those songs are not bad. In fact, that's another thing I appreciate about the album: a lot of the songs explore themes of family and friendship. It might be more of a country album topically than musically. Joanne is her middle name and the name of her aunt who died at age 19, when her father was only 15. The song "Joanne" is what she imagined her father might have said if he had the chance to say goodbye.

Anyway, this was a very long introduction to explain why I wanted to see her Joanne World Tour. It was actually going to be the first big concert I ever attended, until I was given Tim and Faith tickets in September and my sister invited me to Katy Perry the day after Thanksgiving.

Me, my niece Allie, my sister Susanne, and my sister-in-law Ya-ping.

My sister bought me a tour shirt. It was the least she could do. (Her words, not mine.)

Katy Perry's concert was more like a fun party, but her live singing wasn't as good as her recordings. Lady Gaga, on the other hand, was just as good live as she is recorded. There were sound problems inherent to Vivint Arena, but her vocals were on point. She insisted that everyone stand up (using some salty language) unless they had a good reason not to--pointing out that one of her back-up dancers broke his collarbone and was dancing again five weeks later. Every time she got to the chorus of one of her songs, she made everyone put their hands up. I felt tremendously awkward doing so, but I did. There was a main stage, and we sat to the side of that stage, but there were bridges lowered from the ceiling whereby she walked to smaller stages across the floor. At one point, people threw letters on the stage for her to read, and she read one that said, "We have been married three months," but at first she read it as "we have been worried three months."

When we were walking out of the arena, I heard someone say, "She sang every song I wanted her to." I can't say the same thing. As I pointed out, I love Joanne, but there were several from that album she didn't sing: "Sinner's Prayer," "Hey Girl," "Grigio Girls," and "Just Another Day." She sang songs from all of her albums, including some obscure ones from Born This Way, "Bloody Mary" and "[a swear word in German]." I would have rather had her sing "You and I" from that album. "Applause" was the only one she sang from ARTPOP, and that was a lot of fun. That's maybe not her greatest single, but I have a soft spot for it, because it conjures up positive memories of August 2013. My coworker asked me what the best one she sang was, and I said, "Probably 'Joanne,'" the stripped-down folksy tribute to her aunt.

The main stage.

After she had gone to the other side of the stage.

I've heard her next album is going to be more like ARTPOP--which disappoints me, because I think Joanne suits her voice perfectly. I've loved Lady Gaga in varying levels of secrecy since 2011, so I was glad I finally got to see her live.

In other news, my nephews are in town for Christmas. I have three of them--Preston, Franklin, and Nathaniel--and they haven't been in Utah during the winter since 2011/2012. They haven't been here on Christmas Day since 2009, which was before Nathaniel was even born. They have loved playing in the snow, and they were excited to see snow falling from the sky.

I have tried to make it a fun Christmas myself, so I got a live tree and put homemade cranberry/popcorn garlands on it. I have other things I want to do. I hope it snows more so I can go sledding with the boys.

We have never had ten stockings on our fireplace before!

Preston made this impressive igloo. I never did that.

The best Christmas songs you have never heard

On a few occasions, people have accused me of not liking Christmas, since I don't like it before Thanksgiving and because I dislike a few (OK, several) Christmas songs.

But let's face it: I love holidays in general, and I probably like Valentine's Day, my least-favorite holiday, more than the average person likes Christmas. Christmas is my second-favorite holiday.

This week I crossed off a few more items from my bucket list: bake (cranberry orange crisp), buy a real wreath and a real poinsettia, buy presents, give to charity,

attend a Christmas concert, display Christmas cards, and hear a bell choir. 

I still have to go caroling, send Christmas cards, go sledding, donate to a Salvation Army kettle, have a real Christmas tree, make a cranberry/popcorn garland, watch a Christmas movie, make a gingerbread house, read the Christmas story and A Christmas Carol, make a paper chain, light a candle, shovel snow, chime, and wrap, give, receive, and unwrap presents.

The Christmas concert I went to was The Lower Lights. It was our fourth year; I went with my family, and this time my dad even came with. They are so fun. This time, there were twenty-two members, and they just get up and play and sing various Christmas (and other gospel) songs. They have a folk/bluegrass sound. You really get absorbed in the music. I think they are about 50/50 Mormon and not Mormon. They played lots of new songs, and I predict that they will have a new Christmas album out next year. This is one of my favorite new traditions. I might even say I like them more than I liked the Katy Perry concert. So good.

Since I like holidays so much, I find myself doing things or buying things I wouldn't otherwise, but because it has a holiday theme, I get it. This applies to music as well. Currently, my Christmas playlist is at 1,176 songs, and once a song goes into the playlist, it almost never leaves. I have a lot of not-so-good Christmas music, so I've been trying to balance it out with better stuff.

There is a lot of good Christmas music out there, and one of the things that frustrates me is that we don't always hear it. Yet we always hear songs that are simply horrendous (I'm looking at you, "Christmas Canon") or that masquerade as Christmas songs, yet they have nothing to do with it (did someone say "My Favorite Things"?). So I present to you "The best Christmas songs you have never heard." And by "best" I mean "underappreciated." I'm just trying my hand at clickbait. I want these songs to get more exposure so that they will be played more, or they will get recorded more, so that I don't have to hear "Jingle Bell Rock" again.

1. "Something about December" by Christina Perri. I think I have made a plug for this song every year since it came out in 2012, because it's so good. I don't understand why the modern "classics" ("All I Want for Christmas Is You," "Underneath the Tree") are Christmas love songs. Don't we get enough love songs the rest of the year? This song is actually about the feeling of Christmas. She is the modern Karen Carpenter.
2. "Joel the Lump of Coal" by the Killers. Every year the Killers do a Christmas song for charity, and they are usually tongue-in-cheek funny songs. One of their most amusing is "Joel the Lump of Coal" from 2014, which is also surprisingly heartwarming--and it points that it really isn't nice of Santa to give coal to the naughty kids.
3. "Mary's Lullaby" by the Lower Lights. My favorite member of the Lower Lights is Cherie Call, and she does the vocal for this song, which she describes as a Christmas carol from Arizona. It's simply lovely. "You are a king, but tonight you are mine." (Not to be confused with other songs with the same name.)
4. "Close Your Mouth (It's Christmas)" by the Free Design. Earlier this year, I discovered the obscure 1960s sunshine-pop band the Free Design. Their best song is "Kites Are Fun" (even Jimmy Fallon likes it), but they did two Christmas songs. At first, I preferred their other one, "Christmas Is the Day," but "Close Your Mouth" has grown on me. It's so weirdly catchy and cheerful. I also really like the lyrics: "Put your big bank book back in the drawer, bring your mind and body back from the store, get to know the people in your house--you might like them!" 
5. "The First Christmas" from Cricket on the Hearth. The year 1967 brought us this little TV special, Cricket on the Hearth, loosely based on a Dickens story. You've probably never seen it, and with good reason: it starts out moderately charming, but it gets totally bizarre (with talking toys, and a sultry feline who sings in a disreputable canine tavern). But since no one has seen it, they miss a lovely song from it. I don't think anyone has ever recorded it, and I couldn't find a good version on YouTube.
6. "There Was Starlight on the Hillside" from the LDS Children's Songbook. I never sang "There Was Starlight on the Hillside" in Primary, which is a shame, because it's better than a lot of the ones we did sing. It might not be a great song, but I love its tune. And as I pointed out last week, the lyrics are better than "The First Noel." The only recording I know of that's available is those horrendous recordings of primary kids. (I have found a jazzy instrumental version on the internet, and there used to be an instrumental arrangement on Spotify, but it's been taken down.)

I fully recognize that when I read other blogs that just showcase videos, I never watch or listen to them. Who has time for that?! Sorry for wasting your time. (And mine, I guess.)

Ruining Christmas

I hope you "Christmas after Halloween!" folks are happy. It's only the beginning of December, yet thanks to you, I keep feeling like Christmas must almost be over, since it's already been going on so long.

Additionally, I've had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit, and I think part of that is because it hasn't seemed that different from November, when it wasn't Christmastime. My parents have been watching Hallmark Christmas movies for the past month, so it doesn't feel any different now that it's actually Christmastime.

But I guess those folks aren't entirely culpable, since there are other factors at work. One might be the fact that it's been so warm and snow-free. Yesterday was my first time going up North Canyon during the month of December. It was also my dad's first time up there, period.

However, I do get uncomfortable with this notion of "snow=Christmas." First off, it snows more in January, so snow should really be more representative of January. (January--ooh, I shudder at the thought!) Additionally, when it snows in October, it doesn't mean it's Christmas. When it snows in April, it doesn't mean it's Christmas. Snow =/= Christmas.

Anyway, I thought since you guys have "ruined" my Christmas, I would ruin others' holiday too.*

At Christmastime we sing "The First Noel." More like "The Worst Noel"! I agree that it is a classic carol that gets me in the holiday mood. But strip that lovely tune away, and you're left with terrible poetry. Utter garbage. I have thought and thought and thought about the words, and I still can't figure them out. "The first Noel was to certain poor shepherds." That is what it says. What does that even mean? It makes no sense whatsoever! "A cold winter's night that was so deep"? What does that mean?! I tell you one thing that is not deep: these lyrics! (Ba-doom-cha!) "Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel!" I can just imagine the conversation going something like this: 

"I have this great tune, but I can't think of words to fit it all." 

"Why don't you just say 'Christmas' four times?" 

"That sounds harsh." 

"What if you do it another language?" 

"Perfect!"

I could go on and on about how bad this song is, but I think you guys are intelligent enough to ponder the terribleness of it for yourselves. "Silent Night" isn't great either, but it least it has the excuse of being a translation.

This week I bought this pint of eggnog in the break room at work, but I took it home because I didn't want to drink it all at one sitting.

By the time of this picture, I had actually diluted it with milk. Much tastier, and not as calorie dense.

My year of calories taught me a few things. I have downed some of these in one sitting before (five years ago I did at the Salt Lake Temple cafeteria, and I had some during finals week at BYU four years ago, though that was technically BYU Creamery eggnog). But this one bottle of eggnog has a whopping 760 calories. For some perspective, that is roughly equivalent to:

• Fifteen candy canes
• Seven or eight pieces of bread
• Ten Oreos
• Nine or ten string cheeses
• Eight bananas
• One and one-third Big Macs

I still drink eggnog, but you need to be aware of it. When I counted calories, I was most shocked at the calories in Oreos, Cheesecake Factory, and eggnog.

I went to my home ward's Christmas dinner, and they told that story I first heard in Primary two decades ago, about Santa saying, "Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas," with the tree pointing to heaven, the wreath symbolizing eternity, the candy cane being a shepherd's crook, etc. I find this story a little obnoxious, just trying to assign meaning to various items when they don't really have one. Guys, it's OK. You can be religious and still enjoy things that do not have a religious origin. (I really grew to dislike this story thirteen years ago when I attended a ward in Delta and a woman told the story in sacrament meeting, and she even wore a Santa hat and decorated a little Christmas tree with all these supposed symbols.)

I have tried to pinpoint why we love Christmas so much, because let's face it: December is a horrible time of year. Cold, dark, dead, slippery. There's no reason it should be our favorite. We always talk about the joy of Christmas being about Jesus, or about family togetherness, or peace on earth. I love Christmas, and I love those things, but I don't think that's why we like the holidays. If your experience is like mine, then I hate to break it to you, but the joy of Christmas really is ultimately about the presents. Sorry. Let me explain:

I enjoy the sensory aspects of Christmas: the Christmas songs, the lights, the scent of pine, the peppermint. It brings back the joy experienced at previous Christmases: 2016, 2012, 2007. And each of those Christmases were filled with joy brought back from earlier Christmases, going all the way back to childhood. And when I was a child, what did I look forward most to? Presents! Candy! Santa Claus! Jesus, family togetherness, and peace on earth are kind of mature concepts for a tiny kid to understand or appreciate, yet the joy of Christmas goes back to toddler years, when presents were one of the few things we understood.

Furthermore, if it were really just about Jesus, why don't we have the same joy about Easter? Or if it were just about family togetherness, why not the same joy for the Fourth of July? And we never had peace on Earth to begin with, and even if we did, we wouldn't relegate it to one month of the year. True, we don't get the same joy from birthdays, even though we get presents then, but you also don't get a stocking full of candy on your birthday, and your gifts don't come from a fantastical man.

There you have it. The joy of Christmas comes from nostalgia for presents.

*I hope you guys recognize this is all in good fun. I don't really want to ruin your Christmas. Unless you are a jerk. Then I hope I ruin every holiday for you.