The dregs of September

Not everything about my life gets posted on this blog. There are a variety of reasons for this.

Sometimes I may have a lot of things going on, so the smaller things aren't worth mentioning; but on a slow news week, the small things are more important.

Sometimes I want to keep things a surprise.

Sometimes things seem really corny to talk about.

Sometimes things involve other people, and it might embarrass them to talk about them. Specifically, I avoid talking about dates. For one thing, it could embarrass the person. (Years ago, I stalked the blog of someone whom I had dated, and there I learned that she thought I was "really, really weird.") But a more serious problem is that often I can't have any interaction with the opposite sex--even a completely non-romantic interaction--without people thinking we're dating and marrying us off. It's very annoying.

Some things are very personal.

Some things might be embarrassing or might make people judge me.

And sometimes I just forget things.

So, with it being the last Sunday of September, I'm going to revisit a few of the things from this month that I didn't post about before. (Yes, there is still a week of September, but it looks to be a rather eventful one.) Some of these violate the previous reasons, so I'm getting a bit vulnerable here.

1. I often feel corny talking about plays. They're not really my thing, so I don't want to create the impression that they are. I mean, I enjoy going to them, but I'm no fanatic or anything. Early in the month, my family went to Desert Star Playhouse, which is a cramped dinner theater venue with parody plays. Currently they are showing Wickeder, and since we saw Wicked in New York, it seemed fitting. The premise of this show was that in the year 2025, a washed-up Lady Gaga ends up in Oz, takes the shoes from the Wicked Witch of the East, and goes along the yellow brick road where she meets Chris, Ronald Gump, and Justine Beaver (who is searching for a Purpose). You might know that I love me some Gaga, so that was a pleasant surprise. A lot of the play was very corny (and meant to be). The Wicked Witch of the West, or "Alphabet," was actually Madonna, and so there was a rather epic battle where they performed a mashup of "Express Yourself" and "Born This Way." I enjoyed it. But they did a little Halloween-themed variety show after the main play, and I found that awkward.

Today in Sunday School, I found Lady Gaga's "Gypsy" stuck in my head. (As a side note, that really should have been one of the singles from her ARTPOP album, way better than the raunchy singles "Do What U Want" or "G.U.Y.") I wondered how it ended up in my head, and then I found out it was because my friend Shane, the teacher, had mentioned gypsies in passing. But then I thought about one of the lyrics of the song, "Like Dorothy on the yellow brick, hope my ruby shoes get us there quick!" and it made me wonder if that line was the inspiration for the plot of Wickeder. (Apparently an earlier run of the play involved Vanna White, and they just rewrote it.)

2. I have been an editor professionally (meaning I have been paid for it) for more than five years now, so when I found out that the seventeenth edition of The Chicago Manual of Style was coming out, I had to get it. That is my main guideline. It's as essential to me as the Periodic Table is to a chemist. I went to Barnes and Noble the day it came out, and they hadn't even taken it out of the back yet. I doubt there was a run on it. So far I haven't found it different from the sixteenth edition in ways that I have needed to know, except that the entries have different numbers now.

3. Last week, when I ran to Ensign Peak, on my way back there was a lady with two dogs, and one dog came running up to me, getting in my way and jumping on me. The owner came up and tried to control him and apologized. But I didn't say anything. Maybe that was rude of me, but I didn't want to say "That's OK" when that wasn't how I was feeling. I was actually annoyed. Not all of us are dog people.

4. Whenever I see a cat, I go "aww!" and want to pet it. There's this black cat that lives by my work. But it's afraid of people.

5. I almost got talked into buying a car yesterday, but I didn't. I hate that salesmen are paid by commission, because I feel guilty when I use their time and then don't buy from them. They also sometimes get pushy, though I think I've only found one excessively so. I also hate tipping. Why can't companies just pay people what they should? (That's something I didn't like about New York. Tipping everything.)

6. My mom showed me this picture printed in the Deseret News. In an article about church.

7. My dreaming brain invented a song this week. There was a spunky, rambunctious seven-year-old girl who was playing a video game, kind of like a karaoke thing. There was a throwaway pop song, the kind you might expect in a children's game or on the Disney Channel. The lyrics went, "She likes dancing on the stage, on the stage, she likes dancing on the stage." I even remember the tune.

8. I watched the women's session of general conference last night. But that's not the only way I get my Basic White Girl on.

There were maybe a dozen other Trader Joe's pumpkin items that I did not get. Yet.

***

Speaking of, it's time for this week's installment of pumpkinundation roundup! This week I tried to emphasize more caramel apple, since that season is shorter than pumpkin and candy corn.

 A stake activity had this pumpkin chocolate chip bread. Maybe Great Harvest? As I was getting some, a friend asked me, "Can you have this?" I said, "That looks very much like pumpkin bread." He said, "Dude, it's September." I didn't say anything but I thought, "And your point is?"

 I liked this Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch more than I remembered. I think it's regular Special K with spicy-coated clusters. 7/10.

 So, I had to have more dental work this week, and after the dentist, I got this Einstein Bagels Pumpkin Walnut Crunch. If you're wondering why I went after the dentist, it's because I'm never near Einstein when it's open. My teeth were a bit sore, so that made it less enjoyable. It was a hole-less bagel with a nutty concoction on top. The pumpkin bagel was fine. But why did they use walnuts?! They are, like, the worst nut. It would have been better with hazelnuts, pecans, or almonds. 6/10.

 Time for a "cool story bro" moment. In August 2012, while I was on break between summer term and fall semester, I spent some time at home, and I went to Walmart with my mom. I saw the Caramel Apple Milky Way candies. Crazy flavors weren't as common then, so I was intrigued, and we got some. But I put it in one of the drawers in my room. A few weeks later, in mid-September, I was visiting home again, and I watched a Halloween episode of Bewitched, "To Trick or Treat or Not to Trick or Treat." Then midnight came, and it was September 15, my arbitrary date when I can eat fall candy. So I had one before bed. I think this is the first time I've had them in five years. They're like regular Milky Ways but with an apple flavor. Me likey. 8/10.

 Surprisingly, White Candy Corn M&Ms are the longest lasting fall flavor of M&Ms. I say "surprisingly" because candy corn isn't even really a flavor. They are a little different from regular white ones. But even though I don't know what flavor candy corn is, they work. 7/10.

Sometimes people ask me if I can have non-seasonal muffins, and the answer is no, because they are basically cake. This Maverik Bonfire Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffin is a perfect example of why. The first ingredient is literally "cake base." They are full of chocolate chips. And they're topped with sugar crystals. But still delicious. 8/10.

 I've heard people praise the Noosa Pumpkin Yoghurt, but I don't think it's as good as the Dannon kind. Still better than most Greek yogurts, though. 6/10.

 Fiber One Pumpkin Bars are awesome. They have a wonderful fall-like flavor. And I don't get as much fiber as I should when I'm eating all this other stuff. 8/10.

 I have a review coming up for Nature Valley Crunchy Pumpkin Spice Granola Bars. They're OK; they're very similar to the ones in the green wrappers. I can only taste the spice a little, and I can't taste the pumpkin at all. 6/10.

 Hostess Caramel Apple CupCakes are better than you might expect. I think I like them more than chocolate ones. 7/10.

 Caramel Apple Mike and Ikes are OK. The apple ones are decent, but the caramel ones are kind of flavorless. 6/10.

 I can have anything flavored like caramel apple, but I can also have caramel apples flavored like anything. I tried a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Worms and Dirt apple, which was a caramel apple with a white confection, Oreo pieces, and a gummy worm. They took the worm off to cut the apple. They should have just made it an Oreo apple and left the worm off. Caramel apples are so simple yet so tasty, and the Oreos added another level of wonderfulness. 8/10.

 Who would have guessed that 7-Eleven would have 7 Select Pumpkin Spice Cookies? They have the feel of a cheap grocery store cookie, like an off-brand Oreo. 7/10.

 It's too early for plain hot chocolate, but I could have it by putting in Torani Pumpkin Spice Syrup. I tasted some syrup plain, which was very strong. I liked it in the chocolate, but it didn't seem very pumpkiny, and it seemed like unnecessary extra calories. 7/10.

Pumpkin cheesecake is becoming increasingly popular. I'm not huge on cheesecake, but Cheesecake Factory Pumpkin Cheesecake is the best there is. 9/10.

 My Cookie Fix is a local company that sells their cookies in gas stations. Over the summer, I had some of their plain sugar cookies (because they had patriotic sprinkles), and they were like the best sugar cookies I've ever had. The My Cookie Fix Pumpkin Cheesecake Cookie doesn't really taste like cheesecake or pumpkin, but it's fine as a cookie. 7/10.

 Part of the problem is that I've had dental work, but I was not impressed with Archer Farms Caramel Apple Caramel Corn. It's caramel popcorn with some apple flavor and apple slices. It doesn't taste very appley, and I found the caramel too hard. 3/10.

 I think Chobani Pumpkin Spice Greek Yogurt is the worst pumpkin Greek yogurt I've had. 4/10, but then again I don't really like Greek yogurt.

 Trader Joe's Pumpkin Tortilla Chips were disappointing. At first they tasted like bland corn chips, but then a weird flavor kicked in. 4/10.

 Fortunately, you can't taste the weirdness of the chips under the Trader Joe's Fall Harvest Salsa, with pumpkin as a primary ingredient. Yumminess. 8/10.

 Trader Joe's Pumpkin Bagels are OK. They're typical for a bagged bagel. Thomas' makes better ones. 6/10.

 Trader Joe's Pumpkin Joe-Joe's are surprisingly different from Pumpkin Spice Oreos. They're good. 7/10.

 I was pleasantly surprised by the Trader Joe's Pumpkin & Roasted Pepitas Cookies. They're like a chewy but crispy gingerbread cookie. 8/10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Caramel Corn doesn't seem super pumpkiny, but it's the kind of stuff you might get homemade from your neighbors at Christmas. 7/10.

 Trader Joe's Pumpkin Soup is kind of bland and watery. I expected more out of it, because last year they had Pumpkin Soup crackers, meaning crackers flavored like pumpkin soup, which were almost too flavorful. 6/10.

 I didn't know what to expect with Trader Joe's Pumpkin Butter, but it's everything a pumpkin item should be. It has the texture of apple butter but the unmistakable flavor of pumpkin. 9/10.

It's a little early for Pilgrims, but Pilgrim Joe's Pumpkin Ice Cream was surprising. I licked off the plastic seal at the top, and it tasted very familiar and pumpkiny. But the ice cream itself wasn't as pumpkiny as I expected. But let's be honest, is ice cream ever a bad idea? 7/10.