Like being dead, only with homework

This week marked one month since we said goodbye to Jimmy and then brought Reggie home. One of the things I have missed about Jimmy is when he would climb on us to purr and knead. Well, this week, I went into the room where Reggie has been hanging out, and he came and sat on me to purr and knead! It was so nice to have that experience again. But his fur is longer and finer than Jimmy's, so it tickles my face more (and I don't have a beard, so I feel it more). And it's not quite like Jimmy, because Jimmy would come to us, whereas we have to go to Reggie.

I adore this picture I took of Reggie. I made it my phone's wallpaper, and I stared at it during virtual sacrament meeting while the speaker was merely reading "inspirational" stories that have been circulating on the internet for twenty years.

Those eyes! That mane! That pink nose! 😻

The week started fairly typical, just going to work during the day, then coming home to work on my portfolio. 

On Thursday, I felt unusually groggy, even though I had slept well. In the afternoon at work, I was so tired that I knew it was more than just being groggy. So I left work early and isolated in my room.

On Friday, I worked from home for about four and a half hours, and I took an afternoon nap, because I was still unusually tired. But that was my only symptom. If it were a different time, I wouldn't have thought much of it. But, you know, when a deadly pandemic is raging out there, I can't be too careful. 

Saturday was another boring isolation day, but I did feel less tired. Our neighbor stopped by, and she gave us a COVID test. And mine came out negative. My mom went out and bought more tests, so I will take another test this evening to make sure it wasn't a false negative. If I am still negative, I will be glad to resume a normal(ish) life, but I will feel like I wasted the last few days. Oh well, I guess that just means I had an extra few days staying away from the omicron surge, hopefully letting it slow down just a little bit.

Also, I am of the personality where I like to be in the background and not cause problems. But I feel bad that I am sick, because it has prevented my parents from going places they would have otherwise. And I feel like I did something wrong by getting sick, even though logically I know that's not true, especially since I'm probably more careful than the average person.

While I have been isolating, I caught an old episode of Arthur from my childhood called "The Long, Dull Winter." This is an episode that is memorable and relatable at this time of year, because the kids feel like time is moving super slow because there are no holidays, it's cold, and it's dark. Buster quips, "It's like being dead, only with homework!" I had to laugh at how apt that description is for me right now, as I'm finishing up my portfolio, but especially with my isolation.

A boring time of year

 I have really enjoyed being back at work. I can replenish the funds that have declined over the course of the last two years (thanks COVID, but also thanks grad school), and I'm glad that I am making money from something I actually enjoy. 

But when I get home, I have to spend an hour and a half working on my portfolio. Which means that my weekdays are pretty uninteresting.

When I worked downtown before, I enjoyed eating lunch in City Creek at restaurants with seasonal items. But I'm not comfortable eating in restaurants right now, though I have been buying Valentine's candy from City Creek stores. I feel fairly safe going there since it's mostly outside. I also feel safe at work because a lot of people have been working from home, so there's not a lot of people there, and it's easy to social distance. (No one has yet given me the green light to work remotely.)

Reggie the cat is slowly warming up to us. When I go to his hiding spots, he will often come out to be petted. He purrs and rubs against us, so he clearly likes being petted. Occasionally I will lie on the floor and pick him up and put him on my chest, and he will stay with me for a bit, purring and kneading. But he doesn't yet volunteer to spend time with us like Jimmy did. If I want to be with him, I have to set aside the time to do so.

Sometimes I can't believe that this gorgeous cat belongs to me!

It's the Valentine's Day season, and though I'm not anti-Valentine's, it's my least favorite of my nine canonized holidays. It's just not that interesting. I have fewer songs for Valentine's Day than for any other holiday. And since it's still January, not all the local bakeries and such have their seasonal flavors out. I have been watching Valentine shows as part of my New Year's resolution (a COVID-safe way to observe the holidays), but it might become more difficult to find things to watch. Not sure what my point was in this paragraph, except to say it's a boring time of year. 

However, even though I'm busy every day, I am happy to say that my days off once again feel like actual days off. I spend an hour and a half working on my portfolio on Saturdays (and MLK Day), but I feel like that's enough. I don't have other projects looming over me all the time (though I probably will at the end of the semester, but hopefully my portfolio will be close to finished by then). So I actually get some free time. Of course I go running, in large part to remain in shape for trail season. But it feels so foreign to me to be able to do anything I want. But of course it shouldn't feel foreign, since I had days off last summer. But it just feels different.

Yeah. I don't really have anything interesting to say this week. But I have never missed a Sunday yet, and I don't want to start now.

Glad to be back!

 This week, I started my "new" job at the Church History Library.

Most of you know I worked there before, from 2014 to 2017. It has been four years since I worked there. In those four years, I would often pass the CHL and wish I could work there again. In the beginning of 2019 and 2020, and a little bit in 2021, I would go there to do research. 

I am so glad to be back! There have been some changes, but it mostly feels familiar. The stairwell in the Conference Center parking garage still has this smiley stain, which I noticed back in 2014.

This is my favorite job ever. I love the office setting, the work itself, the location, the commute, the hours, and the atmosphere. Basically the only thing I don't like is that I have to wear a tie every day. (This week I met with my supervisor, and he said to me, "One thing: you have to wear a tie every day here," and that was when I realized I forgot to put a tie on that morning!)

I will be juggling several assignments, and I don't know if it's appropriate to put my projects here on the internet. But most of my work this week has been reading nineteenth-century documents, looking for things to include in a future publication. I know history degrees are the most stereotypically useless degrees, so I feel incredibly blessed that I get to look through historical documents—and get paid for it!

Working in history gives me ambivalent feelings about teaching cursive in school. I think reading cursive is a valuable skill, but I hope no one ever writes in it again, because it is so much harder to read. 

My goal for the semester (well, as long as is necessary) is to work on my portfolio for an hour and a half each day. There are three components I need to finish for my portfolio, so that gives me thirty minutes on each portion. I have kept the goal this week, and that means I don't have much free time. But at the moment, it's just as well. It's dark and smoggy, and COVID numbers are insane, so there's not much better for me to do than just stay home and work on school stuff. Hopefully once trail season resumes, I will be farther along on my portfolio.

I am excited to see what this next year brings!

A low-key week

 I had a relaxing, low-key week. I start my new job tomorrow, so I took this week to just relax. I did very little in the way of schoolwork, even though I should have kept working on my portfolio. But it was really nice to just take it easy. 

Since the smell had mostly subsided from my room, I moved my bed back, so it's been nice to be back in my room. Also, I bought a desk. I used to use my computer on my bed, but in summer 2020, I attended a Zoom orientation, and I was very uncomfortable sitting on my bed. So then I used my computer from a recliner, which has been fine, but I long longed for a desk. So I bought one from Office Depot yesterday, and then I assembled it. I'm not very handy, so it's good for me to get some experience with a screwdriver and following visual instructions. Now I just have to get used to typing at a higher height than I'm accustomed to. 

   

When I was looking for desks, first I looked at DI. There was one desk that I nearly bought (I even went back for it), but it occurred to me that I would always hope, "One day I can get a desk I really like." That seemed pointless, so I didn't get a desk from DI. But I always like seeing the random stuff you find there, so I did buy a nice dress shirt for three dollars. I also bought two CDs from 1997 that commemorated the pioneer sesquicentennial—I had to have them, since they are primary sources for my research, and I can put them in my Pioneer Day playlist. I didn't know they existed. (I still regret that time I saw a witch decoration at the Provo DI that matched my heirloom vampire and Frankenstein decorations, and I didn't buy it.)

I officially own a cat, but it doesn't really feel like it, because Reggie hides from us. He mostly hides under the bed in the guest room. I can put my hand behind the bed and pet him there, and he seems to like it most of the time; he purrs, and sometimes he comes to the edge of the bed so I can more properly pet him. But I don't have any new good pictures of him, because whenever I can take a picture, I don't have my phone with me. He really seems like he has the potential to be a great cat, since not once has he nipped at us. And of course he is gorgeous, with his enormous eyes and majestic mane. But he hides all his beauty under the bed.

Cats are my most joyful thing at the moment, since there aren't any holidays and the trails are covered in snow. I did do some road running, but I have to break in my new shoes, since my old ones were pretty hammered (after I ran on every street last year).

I like to run to this trailhead in the winter, but I don't usually go on this trail itself.

Since I had free time, I was able to spend some time relaxing by watching The Snoopy Show, for which I subscribed to Apple TV+. It is charming and witty, original and classic. It's nice to have something light and wholesome during these dark times. But I only can justify watching with foreign subtitles (French in this case) so at least I feel like I'm learning something.

So yeah, that was my week! Now I have to really put in the time and effort to finish up my degree.

Ends and Beginnings

Last week was my year-in-review post, which means I have two weeks to blog about now. Fitting with a new year, there were things that ended, and things that began. So let's start with . . .

Ends

Jimmy. Most of you readers probably know already that we had to put down my beloved cat, Jimmy, whom we had since October 2017. Earlier this year, he was diagnosed with arthritis and diabetes, and we watched him lose a lot of weight, and it became difficult for him to walk and jump.

Several days before Christmas, I noticed a strange smell in my room, but I didn't think much of it. My mom thought it smelled like tuna. On the evening of December 23, I decided to investigate under my bed, and I began by brushing the fur from the carpet. And that's when I noticed that the carpet was wet.

Uh oh.

Months ago, we had discussed when it would be time to put Jimmy down, and I suggested it would be when he no longer reliably used his litter box. It appeared that that time had come. Obviously, him not using his litter box is a problem in and of itself, but it's also a symptom of bigger things, because that has never been an issue for him. So that night I used my phone to Google when it was time to put a cat down. He came and sat on me even as I was deciding to end his life, and a single tear rolled from my eye.

In the morning of December 24, I talked about it with my mom, and she agreed (sadly) that the time had come. But since Christmas Eve was a Friday, we decided to wait until the weekend was over. 

On the morning of December 27, we called vet offices to see where we could take him. As sad as it was, we didn't want to prolong his life any longer. They examined him, and the vet verified that he wasn't looking good, which confirmed to me that we were making the right decision. They let me hold him on my lap as they administered the shot. We brought him home in his crate, and I buried him next to our shed.

It certainly was sad. But honestly, I was less sad than I expected to be. And I was definitely less sad than I was when we put Jenny down in 2017, even though I liked Jimmy better. I think there are two key differences:

1. We had Jenny for nearly fifteen years, which was more than half my life at the time, whereas we only had Jimmy for four years.
2. Jenny's death was much more sudden. She was still going outside and catching rodents up until that weekend when she suddenly lost all her energy. But with Jimmy, we watched him deteriorate all year, and we knew the day was coming. And once we made our final decision, we still had a few days with him, so there was more time to process.

Once he was buried, my real work started. I moved out all my shoes and my bed from my room so we could clean the carpet. I have been sleeping in another room ever since. We have cleaned it with carpet cleaner, cat cleaner, and vinegar. The baking soda seems to have taken most of the smell out, but we have yet to vacuum it up. It is inconvenient, but Jimmy brought us so much joy over the years. He was such a sweet cat.

This Is the Place. I continued to work at This Is the Place's Candlelight Christmas in the evenings before Christmas, and my last day was December 23. It was so busy—busier than it ever was in the summer! And of course, most people weren't wearing masks. Jerks. The last night, it started raining, so I hoped that would make the crowds go home, but instead it just made them want to linger inside. But once I was done on December 23, I was probably done with the Place forever. I will be doing my internship all this year, and hopefully I can get a "real" job once it's over. After Christmas, I dropped off my uniform for the last time.

 

This Is the Place has been a fun place to work. But one night during Candlelight Christmas, I watched a family walk in front of the print shop, without coming in, and I realized that what I liked most about working there was when I didn't have to do anything. Like, I loved the spring and fall, when I just sat in a building all day, reading or cleaning or whatever, and then occasionally doing my actual job of talking to someone when they came in. So it will be nice to have a job that pays better and is full time, to say nothing of being more mentally stimulating. 

Christmas. I really hate this time of year (early January), because all the holidays are over but all the trails are covered in snow. I did kind of find it sad I had to work every night before Christmas. For Christmas Eve, my mom's extended family went to a buffet. Then we gathered at our home for dessert. I made ice cream, and we still had leftover mincemeat from Thanksgiving, so I put it in the ice cream, which was not overly well received by most people. Even I must admit that while I like mincemeat pie, mincemeat doesn't work as well in ice cream as it does in a crust.

 

 On Christmas Day, we gathered as a family (my parents and my siblings' families) to open our gifts. I got an automatic litter box (I was skeptical, but it works pretty nicely), some generous gift cards, a solar Santa Snoopy bobblehead, and a pillow of Jimmy.

I loved playing my personal Christmas playlist of 1,738 songs, and we had an enjoyable Christmas dinner. We ate all together at the table, which is something my brother's family doesn't do much, so my thirteen-year-old nephew, Franklin, made it a point to stick out his pinky when he drank, since it was "fancy."

 

Brother's Family. Speaking of them, I enjoyed spending some time with my nephews. I went sledding twice, which is a fun diversion when I'm not otherwise getting much cardio.

But they left in the evening of Christmas Day. My nephews spend a great deal of time playing video games, which isn't really our thing, so we savor other moments we spend with them. I probably won't see them again until the summer.

 

New Year. New Year's was pretty boring, and I guess that's OK during another COVID surge. On New Year's Eve, I just spent the evening with my parents. We watched His Name Is Green Flake, which I got for my dad for Christmas. I really liked the idea of the movie, but I didn't like the execution at all. It was dull and confusing, with some surprising language for a Deseret Book movie. We also watched the brand-new Peanuts special, For Auld Lang Syne, which was better than most of the Peanuts shows from the 80s and 90s. After midnight, I took some hot cocoa outside, played New Year songs from my phone (my playlist is up to 47 songs), and watched neighborhood fireworks.

New Year's Day was boring. My mom's family usually goes out to eat every January 1, but because of COVID cases, we didn't again this year. I made a New Year's Day soup with black-eyed peas, ham, and spinach, with a side of cornbread, which are traditional New Year's Day foods in the South. (Since nowhere else in the country has New Year food traditions, I have to use the South's!) The only place I went was to the carwash.

It does puzzle me that New Year's Day is a day off of work, yet it really is a pretty boring day. There are lots of New Year's Eve traditions, but not so much for New Year's Day.

And now that I've discussed things that ended, time to move into . . .

 

Beginnings

Reggie. You probably also know that I got a new cat! Even before we put Jimmy down, we looked for new cats. I think my mom was more eager for a new one than I was. Now, my dad will only let us have a cat that is declawed, but I think that is unethical. So the solution is to adopt a cat that is already declawed. That limits the available cats quite a bit. It seems that declawing is (rightfully) getting less common, so most of the declawed cats are old, which means we wouldn't have them as long.

But my mom's friend alerted her to a one-year-old declawed cat on KSL classifieds. The owner had someone give the cat to her, then she learned she was allergic, so she had to give it away. So my mom and I headed to Murray on December 29 to pick up this cat. He appears to be partly Maine coon or something like that, because he is huge! And beautiful. We have never had a longhair cat before, so hopefully that works out fine, but Jimmy shed a ton even though he was shorthair. 

The previous owner said his name was Felix. I don't dislike that name, but it just seems so cliché. I feel bad renaming a cat, but I also don't want to be stuck with a name I don't like for the life of a young cat. So I have renamed him Reginald, or Reggie, which seems like a properly majestic name for a majestic cat. 

We brought him home, but he spends most of his time hiding from us. When I do see him, it appears that he likes to be petted. He makes a weird growling noise, but I think it's a contented growl. He purrs when I pet him, and he walks back and forth while I pet him. If I put my hand a little above him, he will sit on his hind legs so his head will reach my hand. But it does feel like I don't really have a cat, since I haven't gotten to see him much. I'm hoping he will start to feel more comfortable spending time with us!

 

Portfolio. I spent several hours working on my portfolio for grad school, since it is due this semester. It will be more work than I expected, but I did make a good start on it. It means I won't have much free time for the next few months. But I am confident in my own scheduling abilities to get it done.

Happy New Year!