Mark My Words: Restore, Year 3

This past Friday and Saturday was the third annual Restore gathering put on by Faith Matters. Since I'm on Faith Matters' payroll (without getting paid) because of my work on Wayfare magazine, I got free admission, and I invited my mom, since it seemed like something she would enjoy. Faith Matters tackles big questions of religion and the human experience from a devoted, but sometimes questioning or unsatisfied, Latter-day Saint perspective.

The conference consisted of various presentations, interspersed with musical numbers and poetry. (I don't much care for poetry, but I can appreciate that it speaks to other people.)

I thought I would describe the various presentations and proceedings of the conference. But I didn't take many notes, so I suppose that the presenters would disagree with how I distilled their messages.

Friday morning, Terryl Givens talked about the universe and how all the atoms led to people who could create Michelangelo's Pietà. He talked about the amazing coincidence that the sun and the moon are about the same size in the sky, allowing eclipses, and our place in the galaxy that allows us to view the galaxy. And he talked about how evolution proceeds in a way that fixes problems. Star-nosed moles and naked mole rats have body parts (star nose and giant teeth) that give these animals strong senses to make up for their lack of sight. And bats, birds, and insects all developed flight independently of each other.

Eboo Patel is a Muslim man who talked about religious diversity and how we can embrace different religious traditions, that American religious diversity is like a potluck. He told a story that when he was ten years old, he was embarrassed to go to a birthday party with his own beef hot dogs, since he couldn't eat the pork hot dogs that were being served, and there was another kid, a Jewish kid, who brought his own beef hot dogs to the party—and he felt less alone. Jazz, blues, rock and roll, and hip-hop are examples of things that came about from bringing different cultural elements together. He talked about President Nelson's "Peacemakers Needed" talk.

(In February 2023, Dallin H. Oaks spoke in Chicago and said we should try "to strengthen our unity—not to glorify our diversity." I was astonished that, of all possible topics, he would choose to criticize diversity. Like, what the heck?! I wasn't the only person who felt this way, because a few days later, they removed the video from the Church website, and they sent out a Churchwide email that said, "We all come from different backgrounds and have unique experiences that can be used to build Zion right where we are." I have other thoughts about this, but they aren't very peacemaking.)

Joseph Grenney established the Other Side Academy, which is meant to provide opportunities for criminals to reform and turn their lives around. He talked about this two years ago. It's very inspiring, and it's also discomforting. I tend to lack charity for criminals, and he shows how they have inherent goodness that needs a chance to flourish. But in this talk, he was specifically talking about the "ideal family," which doesn't exist. And the perfect family doesn't exist in the scriptures either.

Elizabeth Oldfield is a British woman who converted to Christianity as a young adult, then reverted to atheism, then returned to Christianity. I enjoyed hearing her experiences.

During the lunch break, I got my copy of Gracing, a new book published by Faith Matters. It is written by a biologist and has an expansive definition of grace. I actually copyedited this book earlier this year, and it was a lovely book. (And unlike with Wayfare, they paid me for this one.)

In the afternoon, Pete Davis talked about choosing what we devote our time to. He said something along the lines of saying no to something is saying yes to something else. But I might be conflating his talk with a work training earlier this year. I didn't take any notes of his speech.

Jennifer Finlayson-Fife discussed how to talk to your kids about sex, which of course doesn't apply to my situation.

David Butler talked about the valuable contributions of different religions of the world. I wish I had taken notes, because it was a good (and funny) talk.

They had a young-adult session, but we didn't attend that one. You can't watch everything worthwhile, y'know?

We went back on Saturday, and we heard from Thomas McConkie, who is kind of a hippie type who has a Buddhist background before he returned to the Mormonism of his youth. He described how as adults, we experience a stimulus (a sound, a feeling, etc.,), and then we create a narrative around that sensation. But children and babies just experience the stimulus without all the different stories surrounding us. He invited us to experience these stimuli without all the extra stories we tell ourselves, just experience being like a child would. (I may be grossly mischaracterizing his message.)

Neylan McBaine and Val Hamaker talked about the problems with patriarchy in the Church, that there are so many opportunities that women don't have to lead and where their voices aren't heard. They pointed out that patriarchy hurts men too, because men are expected to always be strong. (Personally, I strongly feel that women should be Sunday School presidents, ward clerks, and executive secretaries, especially since they used to be ward clerks.) This talk was very popular with the audience and had a lot of spontaneous applause. I didn't disagree with it, but I was surprised that of all the presentations, this was the one that got all the enthusiasm.

Mauli Bonner, a filmmaker and musician, told a harrowing story where he saw a woman carrying a baby on the street in the middle of the night, and he felt an impression to watch out for the baby. So he ended up giving the couple and the baby a ride to try to take them to a hotel, but there was no room at any hotel, so he loaned them his car. Then they crashed his car. Spoiler alert: it turned out that they had actually abducted the baby, who was unharmed and returned to its parents, but the couple fled the hospital. His lesson was specifically not that if we have faith it will all work out. But I don't remember what the lesson was.

Jared Halverson, a BYU professor, talked about "proving contraries." The beams of the cross run perpendicular to each other, not parallel to each other, and we have to embrace the seemingly contradictory elements of the two great commandments. But if you have to err on a side, you should err on the side that will be able to be more easily corrected. For example, if someone is suicidal, you should err on the side to prevent suicide.

Then Mallory Everton (of Studio C fame) and Diana Brown talked about being single in a marriage-focused church. They were amusing and entertaining, and of course I can relate. There are many people who say things that are less than empathetic to single people. But I honestly don't remember a lot of what they said. Maybe I should start listening to their podcast. They shared AI images of what they imagined their ideal husbands would be when they were young.

Then in the afternoon session, they had a conversation between John Gustav-Wrathall, a gay Boomer married to a man, and Allison Dayton, the founder of Lift+Love. John attends church actively, even though he is technically no longer a member. He read the Book of Mormon with his non–Latter-day Saint husband, who said, "This book is so good. Why don't they live it?" He said that the Church is people, so if you want the Church to support LGBTQ folx, then the people who support LGBTQ folx can't leave. But he said that there is a difference between pain and discomfort, which applies both in yoga and in church. If you experience pain, you should pull back; but if you experience discomfort, you should lean into it. This presentation was also well received.

Astrid Tuminez, the president of Utah Valley University, talked about her experiences gleaned from Catholicism, Eastern religions, and Mormonism.

S. Michael Wilcox talked about embracing religious ideas. He said the question was never about which religion is most true, but which religion has goodness, truth, and beauty and is spiritually mature. He talked about a compass, the kind of compass you use to draw circles. You should have one foot fixed in the religion that will have you (which can change if needed), but then you have a searching foot that embraces the truths of other religions.

Patrick Mason, a history professor at Utah State University, talked about peacemaking and building communities. To prepare for peace, we should be like spiders building webs of relationships: be anchored, spin our webs, and then be sticky. I really admire Patrick Mason and his work, but I didn't love the metaphor that compared us to predators. I saw him walking in the lobby at the beginning of the day, and I considered introducing myself as a fellow historian, but the insecure introvert in me won out.

Jennifer Thomas talked about her work with the organization Mormon Women for Ethical Government, which is based on the principles of the Sermon on the Mount: "blessed are the peacemakers" and "love thy neighbor." MWEG is 37 percent Democrat, 40 percent Republican, and 23 percent Independent. I always pegged them as more left-leaning, so those statistics surprised me. But since Mormon women in the US tend to lean right in general, MWEG's more balanced demographic inherently means it leans more left than the general Church membership.

I saw various people I know from different corners of my life, so that was fun. I said hi to a few people I don't know super well, because forming connections is one of the best things about attending conferences.

This is the third time I've been, and it's been worth it every time. I highly recommend it.

And this was just the beginning of a very busy September!

And I felt weird including my silly AI dream images after a description of this conference. But more than one presenter used silly AI images, so I feel justified.

Mark's bicycle tire is flat and sprays it's slime out, so he doesn't know what to do with his bike now (I usually create these prompts on my phone, and my phone likes to "correct" its to it's.)