Palimpsests 2: The BYU visit

Last week I talked about palimpsests in my life, and this week the palimpsests continued. The BYU Slavery Project hosted a conference called Truth and Reconciliation, and the Utah Historical Society encouraged employees to attend. So I headed down to Provo Friday.

It was a little strange to me that I have a BYU-adjacent job, and yet I was at BYU for my state job. And actually, my BYU boss was there, so I sat by him, and I also talked to a colleague from my time at the Church History Department. This conference was held in the Wilkinson Center's Varsity Theater, where I attended church in 2013 and 2014.

In the morning, a few professors spoke on different racial aspects in Utah history, which was most relevant to my state job. Brian Cannon talked about Native American slavery and indentured servitude. The Utes used to capture Goshute and Paiute children, then sell them to the Spanish as slaves. When Mormon settlers arrived, the Utes would attempt to sell the children to the Saints. The Mormons were reluctant to buy them, but the slave traders would threaten to torture or kill the children, so the pioneers would buy the children to save their lives. This is morally defensible, but there were still aspects of settlement that exacerbated the situation.

Amy Tanner Thiriot wrote a book called Slavery in Zion, and she spoke about the experiences of Black pioneers. (Her presentation was most relevant to an article I just finished editing for a future issue of Utah Historical Quarterly.) Her presentation elicited gasps and shocked chuckles when she showed a nineteenth-century image with Black people in Utah, which was later modified to make the Black people white. (Here they are as seen in her book, Slavery in Zion, which I have a copy of but haven't read yet.)

And W. Paul Reeve gave a presentation about the conflicting racial ideas of Orson Pratt and Brigham Young. While Brigham Young allowed for slavery in Utah and taught that Black people descended from Cain (an idea I know I was taught as a kid in the 1990s), Orson Pratt stood up for truth and said there was no evidence that Black people descended from Cain. 

In the afternoon, the presentations were more recent and contemporary, many of them dealing with race at BYU. Some of the presentations were more devotional in nature. Which is fine—this was a presentation put on BYU, and in many ways for BYU. But it was just a little strange to hear those messages when I was there on behalf of my secular job, not my BYU job or my former Church job. 

One Black woman presenter used to work at BYU, but she left last August, and she bluntly said they were not on good terms, and she had a negative reaction simply being on campus. I appreciated her honesty, even though she didn't explain why she left.

(By all accounts, BYU is undergoing a period of retrenchment. Last summer, my former boss at BYU from a decade ago sent me an email telling me she was retiring and inviting me to apply to her position. I responded that that job "sounds like it would be perfect if I were straight. But, alas, I am gay, and I don't think BYU would be the safest or most affirming place for me right now." She replied, "I completely understand. BYU is in retrenchment mode, and I'm not sad to be leaving. It's quite uncomfortable for many of us!" That's why I'm glad that right now I get to work for BYU without being a BYU employee.)

One of the final presenters was a Black woman who said she once felt that God told her he was preparing someone to teach the truth. She later learned that at that same time, Paul Reeve was praying whether to study accounting or history, and he felt inspired to study history. So she views him as the person God was preparing. (Indeed, his book Let's Talk about Race and Priesthood from Deseret Book is excellent.)

It was a great conference, and I'm pleased with the challenging honesty of the presenters on BYU campus.

I got to just walk around campus for a little bit. A lot has changed, and yet it feels so familiar, since I was there every day between 2010 and 2014. The last time I visited BYU campus was in March 2022, when I was going through some stuff and had a cloud of uneasiness hanging over me. But I'm in a much better headspace now, so I waxed nostalgic about the happy and positive experiences I had as a BYU student. (I even saw a couple of former professors [geology and grammar], but I thought it would be weird to stop them and talk to them, when I'm sure they wouldn't remember more than a decade later. And, of course, I'm an introvert anyway.)

***

The conference was the more serious, meaningful portion of the week, but of course I'm all about frivolity, so here are the less serious parts of the week.

On Monday, my ward had an activity to help the Bountiful Food Pantry assemble "pantry packs" for school kids. We had a good turnout and got a lot done. But I can't help but feel sad that the food for the kids is mostly processed, sugary foods.

Mardi Gras isn't one of my canonized holidays, but I nevertheless decided to go to Parsons' Bakery to buy a king cake, a traditional Mardi Gras dessert in the South. My parents asked me to explain what Mardi Gras was, and they were surprised it had religious connections instead of just being a "pagan" (their word) holiday.

This Valentine's Day was the tenth anniversary of when my mom broke her leg while carrying a pizza downstairs, so of course we had our traditional pizza dinner. But then I spent the rest of the evening working on the next issue of Wayfare, which is almost done. It was a boring Valentine's Day. But aren't they all? I have had more boring Valentine's Days than nonboring ones, and of those that were fun, the fun parts were unrelated to the holiday. I think I have to go back to elementary school for a February 14 that was fun because of Valentine's Day.

I'm glad to move on to St. Patrick's Day, which is a better holiday in almost every way: better weather, better colors, better festivals, better music, better savory food. I would say Valentine's Day has better candy, but then I remembered the See's St. Patrick's Day potato. (The one thing that's worse is the drinking. I have a great deal of schadenfreude for drunk people.)

Eating a green candy cane while decorating my St. Patrick's Day tree

Yesterday my dad was doing yardwork, and our neighbors' friendly cat had a grand time following him around, rubbing against his legs. My dad was trimming tree branches, and as he would drag the branches along the ground, the cat would chase and play with them. Eventually Reggie came and was watching out the sliding glass door, so my dad opened the door to the sunroom. The neighbor cat came in and looked at Reggie, but then he lost interest.

Reggie stood up on his hind legs to see where the cat went, but I didn't get the picture in time

Isn't he the greatest?

Ten Years: Then and Now

I began this blog ten years ago today! Over the last ten years, I have blogged every Sunday, and I have made anniversary posts every May 1.

When I think about 2011, I think, "Oh, that wasn't that long ago." But when I hear ten years, I think that's a long time. How did this happen already?! For this year's anniversary, I thought I would reminisce about what the world looked like in 2011.

If you wanted to stream music, you used Pandora. That meant if you wanted to hear an entire album, you had to buy it, either digitally or on CD. CDs had declined, but most major stores still sold them. New music came out on Tuesday, not Friday.

If you turned on the radio, you would hear a lot of familiar voices: Maroon 5, Bruno Mars, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Adele. But many others have faded into obscurity. Remember  Owl City, the Band Perry, Enrique Iglesias, "Tonight, Tonight," "Pumped Up Kicks," "Party Rock Anthem"?

You could still shop at Shopko and Kmart!

There weren't nearly as many streaming options, so DVD and BluRay were still king. 

3D movies were still a thing.

Frozen yogurt (froyo) shops were all over, and cookie shops were rare. (I like the cookie shops better.)

Facebook was in its prime, and it was better. It didn't have as many ads in your feed. Was anyone using Instagram then? They certainly weren't using Snapchat or TikTok. 

Blogging had already declined, but a few more people were still blogging than are doing so today. 

Colorful shoes and pants were popular. I miss that.

I still used a flip phone, though plenty of people had smartphones. I still took my physical scriptures to church. In fact, I worked at the Church distribution center at the end of 2010 and the end of 2011, and we sent out lots of manuals and books for people to use in church; I think the Gospel Library app was much smaller. I imagine they don't send out nearly as much anymore. They probably don't employ as many people. But I don't know that.

Everyone scoffed at the notion of Donald Trump running for president, because [comment deleted so as not to start a fight on this commemorative post].

We were coming out of the Great Recession, which meant my dad was laid off for several months.

In my personal life, I was in my second year at BYU, and I had a custodial job.

I could spend more time listing off things from 2011, but I still have four papers to write this week. Who would have guessed that ten years later I'd still be in school. 🤷

Autumn

During my first semester of college a decade ago, I was a very good student. I was very dedicated to my studies. I didn't even watch the Vancouver Olympics at all. 

My first semester of grad school has been more of a challenge, though. After goofing off all spring and summer, it's been hard to get into the groove of devoting my time to studying.

Also, my grad-level classes are basically expensive, academic book clubs. We read books and articles and then discuss them. So it's not like I have to study for tests or submit homework. I'm not expected to read every word of the books, so it's been hard to stay motivated. 

But this week I've spent more time doing homework, and I do feel more satisfied that way. But I feel like I still don't have time to do all the things I want to do.

This truly is the best time of year. This week I had to return to the trails to see if the trees had been cleared away. 

On Monday, I went to Mueller Park, because I thought it would be more likely to have been cleared. It had been cleared, but it was still busy as usual.

The fall colors have returned!

Tuesday through Friday, I went up North Canyon, where the trees had also been cleared. On Friday, I went eight miles instead of the usual seven. I need to prepare for more long runs up there as the temperatures cool down. But the leaves keep getting better and better!

These autumn trail runs are better in the evening, but they're more convenient in the morning, so that's when I do them.

I have to tell you, as an aside, how relieved I am with Blogger. Over the last few months, they've been rolling out a new Blogger, but adding pictures was worse on the new interface. I would have to add the pictures individually if I wanted them in chronological order. I was using the old interface just because of that reason. The old interface is no longer available, but they fixed the photo issue! Phew! But I still think the new interface is not any better, and in some ways it's worse.

Last week, I was able to return to church for the first time in six months. We had to be spaced out, and there was no singing. But I didn't entirely feel comfortable with the arrangement. Now we will be meeting more often, but sacrament meeting is also broadcast via Zoom. I think I'll stick with the at-home arrangement, especially since Utah's experiencing a tremendous spike in cases. And yet Davis County wants to go back to school four days a week. I hope they make the only smart decision: NOT do that!

My family also went to the state fair yesterday to see what it was like in a pandemic. Nearly everyone was wearing masks, thankfully, in part because they're required. There were fewer entries and retail. But I still felt a bit uncomfortable with it. There was a huge line as we were leaving. Also, they encouraged people to buy tickets online, but when we got there, they seemed poorly prepared for online purchases, as though in-person tickets were the default. Why?? 

I really have a hard time having charity for the anti-mask crowd. The nicest thing I can say about them is they are dumb.

A lot of the new cases are from Utah County. I don't know all the reasons for that, and it is disappointing.

But I see this perception where people think BYU is this ultraconservative, far-right school. I went there, and that was not my experience. My Davis County friends tend to be more conservative than my BYU friends were. Most of the geology faculty at BYU are Democrats. In fact, my perception (I don't have hard data, just anecdotal evidence) is that Latter-day Saints who go to the University of Utah are more conservative than Latter-day Saints who go to BYU. (This does not apply to grad students or non–Latter-day Saints). BYU has come out with some very pro-mask studies. So quit badmouthing BYU!

Another thing that happened this week was September 15, which has been my arbitrary day to begin the Halloween season ever since I was seven years old. Sometimes I wonder, "Should I wait until, say, the autumnal equinox?" But no. I just can't wait any longer! I have started decorating for the holiday, but I still have a lot to do. It's hard when you have to do homework! But I have brought out my collection of Halloween Squishmallows.

Top row: purple and black cat, bat.
Middle row: pumpkin, mummy, ghost, witch, zombie, pumpkin, green and black cat, candy corn, monster, witch, new vampire, Frankenstein, werewolf, spider.
Bottom row: Frankenstein, old vampire, pirate pumpkin, spider, orange and black cat that flips into a pumpkin, green bat, candy corn, purple and black cat.
Not pictured: devil, bride of Frankenstein (they are both tiny and would get lost among the bigger ones)

I have also been enjoying Food Network's seasonal programming: Halloween Wars, Halloween Baking Championship, and Haunted Gingerbread Showdown. These make me want to get creative with cooking. Today I made zucchini pancakes (using homegrown zucchini), but I just followed the recipe.

***

And since the Halloween season has begun, so has pumpkinundation roundup! This has been a surprisingly popular seasonal feature of this blog. I document the fall-flavored foods I have; the three biggest flavors are pumpkin, caramel apple, and candy corn.

While I document the fall flavors on the blog, I pursue seasonal flavors all year long. Earlier this year, I thought, "I keep getting these foods that I have had before, but I should instead prioritize new things." But then the pandemic hit, and my new priority is supporting local businesses. (That applies to fast food/bakeries, not to things you buy in stores.)

My first pumpkin item was the Dairy Queen Pumpkin Cookie Butter Shake on September 1. I was allowed to have it early because it was for a review. It was amazing! It had little speculoos cookie crumbs in it. 9/10.

I got Caramel Apple Jacks back in June. It should tell you something that we still had them. I think Apple Jacks are, like, the blandest of all sugary cereals. The caramel version is better than the original, but that's not saying much. It's like regular Apple Jacks with a bit of caramel flavor. 6/10.

My niece got me this Swig Pumpkin Cookie before I officially began the season, but it was close enough that I still ate it. Most pumpkin chocolate chip cookies do not have frosting. Most do not need frosting. I thought this cookie used frosting to hide the fact that the cookie itself had little flavor. 6/10.

I love getting seasonal granola bars, like these Sunbelt Bakery Pumpkin Spice Chewy Granola Bars. I like them, but the pumpkin flavor isn't very strong. 6/10.

This Candy Corn Pez is leftover from last year. I like it better than I remembered; it has kind of a butterscotch flavor. But it's still Pez. 6/10.

Thomas' makes the best grocery store bagels, so I love Thomas' Pumpkin Spice Bagels, the best pumpkin bagels I've had. They have a lovely spicy flavor and scent, with little bits of pumpkin. Since I eat so much sweet stuff this time of year, I like to mix them with savory things (this week, it was cheddar cheese and fried eggs). 9/10.

Archer Farms Candy Corn Crunch Trail Mix has been around for years. It has candy corn, honey-roasted peanuts, white-chocolate-covered pretzels, and raisins. Candy corn and peanuts are a classic combo. I think the pretzels and raisins are distracting. 7/10. 

There's a reason I have had Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts every fall since 2013. They are like the brown sugar ones, but better! They have actual pumpkin! 9/10.

The Archer Farms Rustic Pumpkin Spice Trail Mix has pumpkin seeds, various spice-covered items, and yogurt raisins. The yogurt gives the mix a tang. The spiciness can be a bit overwhelming, and the tang is a bit off-putting, but it's still fine. 6/10.

Brach's Skulls and Bones are new. They have banana-flavored skulls, regular candy corn, caramel-flavored bones, and sea-salt-chocolate-flavored candy corn. The skulls taste and feel just like circus peanuts. The bones have kind of an off-putting flavor, but I don't know why, because I have liked caramel candy corn in the past. The chocolate candy corn isn't very good. I like the classic Indian/harvest corn with the chocolate ends, but this one just tastes weird. But Brach's regular candy corn is the best candy corn. 5/10.

When I first taste the Good & Gather Pumpkin Spice Granola, it tastes like bland granola. But then the spice kicks in, and it's quite nice. 7/10.

I got the Crumbl Pumpkin Oreo Cookie last year and loved it, but it just wasn't as good this year. It's not very pumpkiny. 6/10.

Kettle Brand Apple Cider Vinegar Potato Chips are made with apple cider vinegar—which means it tastes like vinegar, but not like apple. I like Lay's Salt and Vinegar better. 6/10. 

Entenmann's Little Bites Pumpkin Muffins are enjoyable, even though they have wasteful packaging. 8/10. 

Taco Time Pumpkin Empanadas are something I like to get every year. There's pumpkin pie filling in a fried tortilla, dusted with cinnamon sugar. So simple but effective! 8/10.

I'm telling you, Caramel Apple Sugar Babies are the best Halloween candy, and I don't even like regular Sugar Babies. 10/10.

Pumpkin Pie Jelly Bellys have been around for years, but I think this is the first time they've been sold on their own. Previously they were part of a Holiday Favorites mix that included eggnog, candy cane, hot cocoa, and cranberry sauce. Unfortunately, the pumpkin pie is the worst part of that mix. It doesn't taste like pumpkin pie, even though Jelly Belly usually does a good job with authentic flavors. There's some vague spiciness, but it's more like a candle, including the wax. Spiced jelly beans are literally my favorite Easter candy, but these don't work. They at least should have mixed them with other fall flavors they have made in the past (caramel apple, candy corn). I like the softness, though, because in the summer I keep buying expired red, white, and blue Jelly Bellys, so it's nice to have them fresh. Fun fact: when I go running, I often imagine seasonal Jelly Belly flavors. Pumpkin pie is one of those flavors, but I wish they made it better. 4/10.

I got this Valued Naturals Caramel Apple Crunch from Miller's gas station. It really isn't very good. It has dried apples with a spongy texture. The mixture tastes like walnuts, even though it doesn't have walnuts, and I don't like walnuts! Even the butterscotch and vanilla chips can't save it. 3/10.

At the fair, I got this chocolate coconut caramel apple. It's certainly cute. It was very decadent, almost too much so. 7/10.