Back to School

A new chapter in my life is beginning. I am officially starting my master's US history program at the University of Utah.

Well, with would be a more appropriate preposition than at. All my classes are done online, so I might very well make it through the whole semester without ever setting foot on campus.

I am a little disappointed that I don't really get the satisfaction of a first day of school. Classes officially begin tomorrow, August 24, but my first Zoom class is on Tuesday. But I also had new student orientation this week, talked with the director of graduate studies and one of my professors, and began some of my homework and readings.

On the other hand, I am relieved that I don't have to worry about commuting or parking. That will save me money, and it will also give me more free time. I hope to continue my almost-daily runs up North Canyon. (The smoke and the heat meant that I only went up North Canyon twice this week.)

When I graduated from BYU six years ago, I had no plans on grad school. I didn't need a graduate degree. But I think it was always in the back of my mind that someday, I could go back to school, even if I didn't plan on it. But I certainly never imagined that I would be starting grad school during a pandemic!

Two years ago, I applied to some editing jobs for which I was underqualified. I'm hoping that a master's degree will give me more qualifications.

I keep second-guessing my decision to go back to school, but I think it is a wise choice. Sometimes I wonder if I should have picked a different major than history. Maybe it's not a perfect choice, but it is still a good choice. And I chose history because I thought it was my best option for getting accepted: I'm already published in history, and my letters of recommendation were mainly from history.

But I am very nervous about this! History was literally my worst subject in high school and undergrad. I only got a 2 on the AP US history test! Even people who study vastly different things got better scores than I did! I hope that I can keep up on the readings. (One thing I wish I had known during undergrad is that you don't have to read every word.) I feel like I will be at a disadvantage since I didn't previously major in history. But I'm hoping grad school will be better because I will have more flexibility in what I study. Part of my problem with more general history classes might be that they tend to center around wars: Revolutionary War, War of 1812, Civil War, Spanish American War, World War I, World War II. I find military history sooo b o r i n g !

Since I've been out of school six years, I have to figure out how to budget my time. In college I carried around a Parker Planner (similar to a missionary planner), but it's been many years since I've done that. I used to spend a lot of time on campus and do homework while I was there, but obviously that's not happening now.

I have three classes this semester. Proseminar in US History to 1877 and Colloquium in American History are graduate classes with weekly Zoom meetings. History of the US West is an undergraduate class, but I'm taking it with a few different requirements as a grad student. This will enable me to make progress on my Pioneer Day research.

In order to succeed in grad school, I will have to work past a lot of my insecurities. I don't like commenting (either on video or on forums) or emailing because I don't want to bother people. Also, I see lots of people in life who go on and on, talking about themselves or about things that no one else cares about, and I don't want to be one of those people. But I have to remember that people probably aren't bothered if I send them an email or make reasonable comments.

Well, thanks for reading through all the school thoughts that have been running through my head!