Bad dates

 Since my life lately isn't too exciting, I thought for this week's post, in honor of Valentine's Day, I would describe four of my worst dates over the years. I always like hearing about others'  cringeworthy dates, so maybe you'll enjoy hearing about mine.

#1. When I was in college, I had a custodial job, and one of my coworkers was from Mexico. I texted her and asked if she wanted to go to a play. When I picked her up, she said, "So, what game are we going to see?" English wasn't her first language, so she thought "play" was a sporting event! Then when we were waiting for the play to start, she spent the entire time looking at her phone. I think she only talked to me when she took a picture of the program and posted it on Facebook.

#2. My last semester of college, my roommate was dating a girl named Laura, and he suggested that we could do a group date. So Laura arranged for me to go on a blind date with her cousin. For the group date, we met at Laura's apartment and made cake balls. I met her cousin, whose name I honestly don't remember, so I'll call her Brittany. We made our introductions, and after I said I was studying English language/linguistics, Brittany said something like, "It seems like most language people I meet don't care about defending English." She went a prescriptive rant about how important it is to defend the language, even as I and Laura talked about how English has always changed. I remember standing at the stove, melting green mint chips, and thinking, "Ugh, this is just a terrible date." I wasn't interested in Brittany at all, and there we were with my roommate and his girlfriend, as well as Laura's roommate and her boyfriend. 

When the date ended, we arranged that I would take Brittany back to her apartment. So we walked over to my car. Now, I have heard girls say they don't like it when guys open car doors for them, and I wouldn't like that either. So I went to the driver's door and unlocked the car, and Brittany was just standing there. I said to her, "Your door should be unlocked." She said, "OK," and continued to just stand there, even as it was clear I wasn't planning on opening it for her. I thought, "Is this girl for real?" So I leaned over inside the car and opened the door for her, and she got in. (I later told my mom about this, and she said, "If  a guy didn't open my door, it wouldn't be a deal breaker, but the girl acting that way would be a deal breaker.")

The next day at church, Laura said to me, "I'm sorry for how rude Brittany was last night." I don't know if Laura knew about the car door incident, so I asked for clarification, and she said, "Just in general." Then she said that she actually meant to line me up with Brittany's sister, who would have been a better match for me, but then Brittany and her sister decided to send Brittany instead.

#3. Today is actually the anniversary of this date. Some of you readers know this girl, so I will call her Taylor. I picked her up to go to a concert on the U's campus. While I was in the left-turn lane at a light, Taylor was pressuring me to turn left before it turned red. But then I was just out in the intersection when I didn't feel safe to do turn, so I had to go in reverse to get back in the lane and wait for the light.

Then at the concert, Taylor rarely, if ever, clapped, so I could tell she didn't want to be there.

On the way back to her apartment, I was confused why my windows were so unusually foggy, and it was hard to see out of them. I remarked about my windows being so foggy. And only after the date did I realize what was going on. A friend had previously said that Taylor told her you shouldn't have hot air come out the top vent in your car; instead, you should set the heater to just come out down by your feet. So I realized that Taylor had turned down my heater, and turned off the defrost so it would just be on my feet, without telling me. I thought that was weird enough, but it really irked me that she wouldn't admit she had done it when I was complaining about my foggy windows. And clearly, her way was wrong, since it was hard to see out of my windows. I lost a lot of respect for Taylor that night.

#4. This one was actually a second date. On the first date, I mentioned I liked trail running, so for this second date, a June evening, we hiked up a canyon in Centerville. We had pleasant conversations on the way up. At one point, she asked me if I liked to lead when hiking; I think I gave some wishy-washy answer.

At least I saw a cool mushroom on this date!

We hiked to a waterfall, and then we agreed to run down. (She was athletic in high school but not so much in adulthood, so she didn't have the stamina to run up, but could run down.) This trail has a rope swing, so we took some time to swing on it. She got a little annoyed with me that I wasn't pushing her harder on the swing, but since she was spinning around unpredictably, I didn't want to accidentally grope her! 

At one point while we were running down, I stepped off the side of the trail to let someone come up. Once the hiker passed, Janice stepped in front of me to lead in running, without saying anything. I was OK with that, but I thought it was a little weird. But she was faster than me, so I didn't always see her.

At one point, we came to a fork in the trail—and I hadn't seen which way she went. We had come up one way, but that trail was less obvious, so I really didn't know which way to go. I decided to go the way we had come up, but I didn't see her. I called her name, but of course I don't have a loud voice. So then I went back and went on the other trail, but I still didn't see her. She had evidently realized I wasn't behind her, so she went backwards, and we kept missing each other. It was starting to get dark at this point. Eventually I heard her calling my name frantically, and she was relieved to see me. She worried I had fallen off the trail somewhere. 

We really didn't say much the rest of the way down. On the drive home, I asked her if she wanted to go anywhere else. She said only if we got drinks, but she didn't like shaved ice, and I didn't like smoothies, so I just took her home.

***

So, yeah, those are my four worst dates. I suppose I have been on other dates where the girl thought it was a bad date. 

Also, I have had several occasions when the girl cancelled last minute. I get that things come up. But if you don't want to date me, just say no. When they agree to a date and then cancel the same day, it means that I can't make other plans that day, and it just wastes my time.