Mid-February

 I don't really like February.

It sometimes pretends to be spring, but it really is just still winter. Running on the streets in the evening before sunset just feels bleak. I like every month except January and February.

Monday was Valentine's Day, so I didn't require myself to work on my portfolio that day. We got pizza, which has been our tradition since the disastrous Valentine's Day of 2014 (when my mom broke her leg while carrying a pizza downstairs). We watched the Olympics and Sleepless in Seattle. 

Valentine's Day is my least favorite of my nine canonized holidays. I think the holiday peaked when I was in elementary school. And now that my mom is retired, she doesn't come home with all the candy from her students. Last Sunday, I made a cherry crisp with cinnamon candies in the topping to celebrate the day. It was hard to taste the cinnamon, but when I did taste it, I don't think it's worth trying again with more candies. The flavors clashed just a little. (Not as good as the cinnamon crinkle cookies I made two years back.)

I need to sharpen or replace my food processor blade.

On Valentine's Day, my great-uncle Ross died. I didn't really know him that well. I think the last time I talked to him at all was in 2013, and I don't think I ever had a real conversation with him. He sent me a Facebook friend request, but I don't think he ever liked or commented on my posts, and I had to periodically unsubscribe from his posts, since he "shared" too many dumb things. (You know how it is with that demographic.)

Anyway, though I personally am not really affected by his death, I opted to accompany my parents to the funeral in Fillmore yesterday, because he was my grandfather's brother and the last of that generation. I felt a little weird going to a funeral for someone I barely knew. But it was fun to get more insights into my family. For example, my dad's cousin Larry, Ross's nephew, talked about how my grandfather's family wheeled their house into Fillmore during a Fourth of July parade. (I found a reminiscence from my grandfather that says it was the Twenty-Fourth. I'll have to do some more research on this sometime.) Ross's children came up to my parents and were especially eager to talk to my mom, even though he was my dad's uncle. But to me, these are only distant relatives, and I really don't know any of them at all.

Though I didn't work on my portfolio on Valentine's Day, which was planned, I also didn't work on it on Friday or Saturday. I didn't have the time. And I can't afford to take too many days off! I have two months until I defend it! So I have to reevaluate my expectations for myself and figure out what in my life is not as important, so I can focus on things that matter.