Love and Remodeling at Home

I went home this weekend for Mother's Day.

But it wasn't a weekend entirely full of relaxation, because I had to do a lot of moving furniture. Moving furniture isn't so bad when you have nifty little sliders you can put under the legs of the furniture, but it's still a hassle moving couches through tight spaces.

You see, my parents decided to spend a lot of money to do some remodeling of our house. They installed new floors in the basement, completely changed the walls and ceiling in the family room, and replaced the brick fireplace that extended to the ceiling with a marble tile one.

And since most of those things had been in the house since we moved into the house in 1991, that ends a lot of my childhood. (As if being in my mid-twenties wasn't enough.)

Gone are the three lights in the family room ceiling that you could dim for sleepovers.

Gone is the fake wood paneling.

And gone is the little door that contained only the water valves, but I would imagine it went somewhere special. (Maybe even to a different world, but maybe that was only Coraline.)

Gone is the scratchy wallpaper that one of our kittens once used to climb vertically up the wall.

Gone is the gray carpet with no padding underneath in the family room and the tan carpet in the downstairs bedroom-turned-office-turned-theater-room.

Gone is the blue swirly wallpaper downstairs. Apparently this wallpaper covered up a pornographic wallpaper that had been there when we moved in, which I never saw until I saw the more decent parts when they tore things down.

Gone is the word "chores" written in pencil on the wall.

Gone are the flimsy ceiling tiles that sustained water damage and had multiple holes in them from exercise equipment and from tall cousins' heads.

Gone is the carpet from which I almost got out all the blood from my mom's Valentine's Day disaster.

Gone is the brick fireplace on which I strung lights for all holidays, on which we placed our witch and skeleton every Halloween, on which we stacked our Christmas stockings vertically, and on which, as a kindergartener, I staged some self-written leprechaun "plays."

(We will still have the hearth, although it will be marble, so there's still room for the witch and skeleton and, more importantly, leprechaun plays.)

And yet, with all these changes, there are even more to come!

There are very few things still in the house that are the same as they were in my earliest memories from the early 90s:

The yellow shag carpet in the upstairs bedroom is the same.

I think the kitchen pantry still has the yellow linoleum, which as a little kid I imagined was butterscotch (to go with our chocolate-lake brown carpet).

The bedrooms still have the same closet doors.

We have the same bathtub and showers, although everything surrounding the bathtub is different.

The hot-tub-room-turned-storage-room still has picturesque wallpaper, but you can hardly see it now.

The sunroom is mostly unchanged, except for a few broken windows that have been replaced.
Most of the outside stuff is the same--the railroad ties; the rock walls, seats, and steps; the rock path (which has been lengthened); the slide platform (which I actually remember being put up and/or painted, although it has had a few different paint jobs); the brick things lining the little garden by the front door. We still have the apricot, crabapple, inedible apple, plum, scrub oak, birch, chokecherry, and grape trees. (OK, OK, grapes don't grow on trees, but you wouldn't know that with the way they grow on the plum tree.)

I can be too sentimental.

#ProvoRocks

Well, it was my first week working full time.

And it's nice working from home. I don't have to worry about getting up in time to get dressed. I like to get started in the morning, but if I sleep a little late, I can even get a large bowl and eat breakfast while I start working, since my work mostly consists of reading through things and checking for errors.

But after eight hours (with an hour break), I am a little sick of sitting in my chair. Nevertheless, I have enjoyed working. It's easy, but I feel like it's meaningful, and it's the best paying job I've ever had. And it's only an internship! A while ago I got an email from the editing department advertising an internship with Deseret Book. My internship pays more than twice as much as Deseret Book.

This is the very first spring term in which I haven't done classes. I have to figure out what to do, now that I don't have anything looming over me that I need to get done. Last summer I didn't take classes, but even then I knew I needed to prepare for Geology 210. Now I'm completely off the hook. So I've decided that at least once a day, I need to interact with other humans outside of my apartment. Spring generally seems to be the best time to do that, anyway.

On Friday, the Rooftop Concert Series started again. And while I didn't like the concert atmospheres for Andy Grammer, Mideau (even though I loved the music), and Harry and the Potters, I love the atmosphere of the Rooftop series--probably because it's outside. And this time I went with some friends, unlike last August and September. We could see the Angel Moroni on the new Provo Temple, and I wondered if future Rooftop Concerts will interfere with the quietude of the temple. They have three bands each time. The first was called Strange Family, a rather slow rock band. I found them a bit boring. The second was a folk group called the National Parks. I liked them enough to buy their CD, and they were my favorite group, but it's hard to go wrong with folk. Then the headline group was called Desert Noises. I think there's "they're good for a local band" and then there's good. Desert Noises was just good for a local band; I don't think I'd otherwise listen to them. The National Parks was better than that.

The Rooftop Concerts have had some really big musicians. I think even Neon Trees played there in the past. This week I learned that their drummer, Elaine Bradley, joined the ranks of Brandon Flowers in having an "I'm a Mormon" video.


At the Rooftop Concert, Provo was giving out free t-shirts with anthropomorphic animals on them, provided you "liked" their Facebook page. I got a shirt with a cowboy bull on it (because they were running low when I got one). They were promoting a new campaign called #ProvoRocks. After my Structure of English class a year ago, I've become accustomed to analyzing different meanings for things. "Provo rocks" could be interpreted as a sentence meaning "Provo is great." It could be a sentence referring to the rock music played at Rooftop Concerts. And it could be a noun phrase, referring to the rocks of Provo--made more significant by the fact that Provo just bought Rock Canyon--a place I have only been to for geology field trips but a place I should go to more often.

If I were to guess, I would say that I will be gone from Provo come fall. I don't know, but that's my guess. Provo really is a great city. I will miss it.

The Mark Melville Quote Blog

In person, I am a quiet, boring, awkward guy. But I like to think that in writing, I can be hilarious, and I would like to think that on my blog I have said some brilliant things. So, in honor of three years of this blog, I give you some of my best lines--either funny or not--based on feedback I've gotten and based on my own opinions. These go from most recent to oldest.

"I used to have an analogy that a shiny, red ornament would work on a pine tree but not on a black, dead, ugly Halloween tree. I used to say that I was a Halloween tree and therefore I couldn't have Christmas ornaments (normal things). I don't think that anymore." From The BYU Era

"You want them to let you live as you want. Be courteous enough to allow them the same thing." From Why boycotting Mozilla was a bad idea

"I think that banjos can fix all of life's problems. If we sent a banjo to North Korea, they would say sorry and start playing nice." From Blatant snobbery

"There are all sorts of dumb parents who have no idea how to raise children. I don't know how to raise children either, but I'm sure I would do a better job than they do. These parents tend to be parents precisely because they are dumb. They love their kids, but they seem to love them in a way that aunts and uncles should love them, not the way parents should love them. They seem to have other relatives do most of the child rearing. And their kids have picked up or will pick up all the life-destroying habits of their dumb parents. I am a virgin, and their teenage kids are not. It doesn't seem fair that a responsible almost-college-grad like me doesn't have kids, when these morons are out there procreating all they want." From Geriatrics

"And I have to agree with the lady on one thing. I also am surprised Alex Boye's video went viral. But that's because I find him vastly overrated." From  Umm...What?: A response to Frozen advocating a gay agenda

"The fact that the NRA thinks we shouldn't change anything makes me think that the 'N' actually stands for 'Nefarious.'" From All things political

"I also count candy corn as suitable for both Halloween and Thanksgiving, so I always go overboard buying clearance Halloween candy for Thanksgiving. In the last few days, I bought candy corn jelly beans, candy corn M&Ms, Starburst candy corn, caramel candy corn, s'mores candy corn, autumn mix, candy corn suckers, candy corn and peanuts, pumpkin spice candy corn, and a candy corn Blow Pop. When I showed [my roommate] my supply, he told me I was going to get diabetes." From There's only 362 days left till next Halloween!

"There are a few things in our Mormon culture that annoy me--like the perception that it's OK to watch a movie as long as it's not rated R, or that the Book of Mormon is the only worthwhile book of scripture, or that prayers on a rainy day must always say 'the moisture we are receiving.' Not to mention saying a blessing on refreshments." From Overrated hymns

"If I were ever asked to narrate a parade, I would probably get fired, because I would just make snarky comments the whole time. (Especially when the medieval and Dr. Who clubs passed by.)" From Oh, it was THAT week.

"Then when I came home [from running], my nipple was bleeding. If I were a mother with sucking child, my child would be a vampire." From Blast that hydraulic gradient!

"There was very little life in the Precambrian. (That's a structural ambiguity there: there wasn't much life, and the life that existed was very small!)" This sentence caused quite a nerdy conversation on Facebook. From Geology 210, week one

"Have you heard the theory some people have that World War I and World War II are really just one enormous war, with a brief peaceful interlude that led to the second part? Well, I just had Summer Vacation II, but it was really part of one great summer vacation with a week of working thrown in the middle." From La Terre de Disney

"Once upon a time in England, smart people learned Latin. They loved Latin, even though it was a dead language. This linguistic necrophilia led scholars to study Latin more than they studied English—but eventually they did turn around and start studying English." From A Prescriptive Addiction: How I Became a Descriptivist when I Became an Editor. (This paper was just published in the student journal Schwa, but I think the amateur editors took some of the life out of it.)

"I'm so excited to get done with everything this week! It will be a great summer, even though I usually don't like summer! (I feel dumb using all those exclamation points. At least I didn't use multiple exclamation points, as women who are 30 and older do.)" From Welcome summer

"Just as Earth formed in just the right place in the solar system for life to exist, I was born in just the right place to have a great mother. My mother is sane and intelligent. I don't have a mother who does crazy and dumb things. I have a sensible, wise mother, and I couldn't be more content. Even if she says things like 'not terribly much badder.'" From Not terribly much badder

"The worst thing about spring is Women's Conference, when hundreds of middle-age women crowd campus and generally get in the way. I'm glad that's done with now." From Only because it's spring

"Don't be so arrogant as to think that your idea is the only one that can possibly be right." From My thoughts on gun control

"You know the expression 'When Hell freezes over'? I'm not sure that's a good description, because I'm starting to think that Hell is covered in a permanent sheet of ice." From Gravity hurts

"And our langage has been around for a long tim. I am in an Earlie Moderne Englische class right nowe, and euen though the things that we reede are hundreds of yeares old, they are still very similar and we can still vnderstand most of it. Olde Englishe and Middle Englishe are more difficulte to vndesrtande, but that is also amazinge. Iust as it is amazing to see how animales have euolued ouer time, it is amazing to see how wordes haue euolued ouer time." From Mind. Blown. 

"Peace on Earth Man is an elderly foreign man in a power chair whom I met at the grocery store. I was looking at a cart of clearance Christmas potato chips when he approached me. He showed me a card that had a dove on it that said 'Peace.' He told me to read it (it said 'Peace on Earth' inside) and said, 'Give me a dollar, please!' in his European accent. It was really random. I took pity on him, since he didn't have any legs, and gave him a dollar. But it was really strange." From A Character-Driven Description of My Week

"I had a fun time seeing my three nephews in California. We got home a week ago. They said and did lots of funny things, like when Franklin (who is almost 5) asked me why my neck is thin." From Randomness

"Unfortunately, I ended the semester with two A minuses. Oh, well." From Year in Review

"I don’t think the fad of 'ugly sweater parties' is a tradition that should stay. It seems to me that ugly sweaters are kind of like fruitcake—there are more jokes and parties about them than there are actually sweaters." From Christmas Traditions 

"I think the only people who like [operatic] singing are those who have been educated to like it, and what's the point of that?"From Merry Thanksgiving

"I abstain from Christmas until after Thanksgiving to respect Thanksgiving. But I also do it to respect Christmas. Some people think I must be a grinch or hate Christmas. On the contrary, I love Christmas. Christmas is a special time, so I don't want to bastardize it by celebrating it early. If I did, I would no longer associate Christmas stuff with Christmas. I want to keep special, so I keep it in its proper time frame." From My annual rant

"This week I got my copy of Mapping Mormonism. It's a book that is for sale at Deseret Book and I think even Costco. And my name is in it! Yes siree, there is a PDF of the front matter that proves it. So my name is available for sale at Costco." From Bewitched, Bewitched, you've got me in your spell

"This is exactly why I hate politics. You have these two political parties, and once someone claims their allegiance to one, they turn into mindless robots who support every measure their party supports. What's worse, they will attack any measure the opposite party supports, even if they otherwise might agree with it. People may have particular reasons for adhering to a party. Some may stick to a party because it is a family tradition. Others might stick to a party precisely because it is not a family tradition. The problem is not with the parties themselves; the problem lies with sacrificing your reasoning to other people and having them tell you what you should believe and do." From Why I hate politics


"I only had two companions there, three if you count my MTC companion. But I only talked to one, Elder Betenson. My MTC companion came late and I didn't feel a great need to talk to him, and the other companion was the evil Elder LaPratt who I wish would disappear." From Let the Lower Lights be awesome

"This week I did, however, read a BYU Studies article from 1999 that, although scholarly, was incredibly stupid. My editing professor used to be an editor for BYU Studies, so the bulk of our material for the class comes from past issues. One of the options we had for an assignment this week was an article comparing Joseph Smith and Herman Melville. I thought it sounded interesting, so I read it. Boy, was it stupid. So stupid that my professor said that when it was in the process of being published she refused to edit it--I think it was the only one she ever refused. It seemed fairly obvious to me that this scholar was like, 'Hey, I like Herman Melville, and I'm a Mormon, so why don't I compare Herman Melville and Joseph Smith?' You could compare anyone to anyone! You could compare me to ol' Hermy Baby. Moby Dick has a chapter about fossilized whales; I like fossils. Herman made a lot of biblical allusions; I like the Bible. We even share the same last name! I was embarrassed that my job would consider publishing such a ridiculous article, even if it was thirteen years ago. The author had a brief section talking about references Melville made to Mormons--I think that would have been a much better topic for a nineteen-page article." From Ah, fall

"Some passages of Isaiah sound pretty funny because of the older English--like the daughters of Zion wearing mufflers and round tires like the moon." From Pioneers and Olympians

"Isn't tarantula a great word? The word spider is a rather blah word--but tarantula just sounds like it should describe something big, hairy, and creepy. It's named after a place in Italy where they had giant wolf spiders, and then the name was later applied to other kinds of big spiders. Maybe you've read old books that talk about the dance called the Tarantella. People thought that a tarantula bite made you go crazy and dance--so they named a dance after it. It bugs me when people say tri-antula--where'd that three come from?" From Tarentule

"It was a very nice rainstorm, the first in a long time. It's a good thing it came, because I was almost converted to liking sunlight. Then the rain came and reminded me how awesome it is." From Oh, beautiful for rainy skies

"This week I had a symbolic dream. I dreamed that there was a horse that didn't really like its owner, but for some reason it really took a liking to me. I was flattered that it liked me so much, but I couldn't help thinking, 'What am I going to do with a horse?' Lately there have been a lot of people visiting me. I'm very flattered that they visit me; I've never had so many visits in my life, and I feel like I actually have some semblance of a social life. I really like visiting with them, but I just realized how much harder summer term is going to be for me than spring term was, and it's only the beginning of the term and I already feel like I'm way behind. How am I going to stay caught up when I have all these visitors? What am I going to do with all these horses?" From Summer bummer 

"I had to get my book printed as a saddle-stitch book. So I went to the JFSB, but their color saddle-stitch machine was broken. So then I went to the Cougar Copy Center just south of campus by where I live. Their machine was broken. So then I went to Cougar Creations in the Wilk. Their printer was having problems so they couldn't get the cover to print with everything else, which meant that I had to staple the cover on. But they made me, an inexperienced stapler, staple it with a stapler that wasn't meant for the job, which resulted in bent staples and a generally sloppy appearance. It took me an hour to get a sloppy book." From Quelle semaine

"When it comes to candies, desserts, drinks, and other sweets, I can only have them when they are in season. I have eight holiday seasons, each with their own designated in-season sweets. When it comes to candy, a lot of deciding whether or not something is in season depends on if the candy would look festive in a candy dish." After this quote, I included a detailed list of the things I can eat for each holiday. From What a weirdo, part 2

"Historians also have weird hair. I don't like talking about hair, but they sure have weird hair. My professor I think is going for the Ben Franklin look. He is bald on top and has gray hair around the sides and back of his head, but he grows it out so it's a bit long and ratty and nasty. The TA also has weird hair. From the sides it looks normal enough, but from the front--I can't quite describe it. He has these two bulges of hair on either side of his head, above his ears. It gives his head a bit of a mushroom shape. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to Mushroom-Head Man to figure out why my test score was so low." From What a weirdo

"[While watching the solar eclipse,] at one point I think I accidentally swallowed a bug. A lot of snarky people drove by yelling "Eclipse!" and even "The sky is falling!" I must say, the eclipse was pretty d**g awesome." From Various and sundry things

"[After scraping myself up,] I found out I even got some blood on the doorknob. Fortunately, I don't have AIDS." From Of bones, blogs, and blackouts


"Suppose that there is NOT climate change, but we do something about it. We diminish our dependence on fossil fuels, which won't last forever anyway. We develop new technologies and methods of providing energy. And everything stays the same. What would we lose?" From Global Warming

"And last night I was driving back to Provo through Utah County construction. I had to laugh that the sign on the side of the road had not one but two typos: HEAVY TRCFFIC. USE CANTION." From Running, reruns, and runny jam

"[At the St. Patrick's Day parade,] the radio station X96 had a theme entirely about beer. Now, if people want to drink responsibly, whatever--although I think the term 'drink responsibly' is an oxymoron. But there were children among the group! There was even one young person dressed as a beer bottle! One of the children was a boy my mom recognized from her school--a boy who has behavior problems. That explains a lot of things! I suppose that could be considered a post hoc argument (I was tested about logical fallacies this week), but nevertheless I know about alcoholic families, having seen them firsthand. I hope all these drunkards get in crashes and kill each other. OK, maybe not. But they should keep the kids away from the alc-y." From  The most overhyped pointless day of the year

"When I run, I think about jelly beans and socks. (In that sentence, jelly is modifying beans but not socks.) Yesterday when I went running I thought about Thanksgiving and Christmas jelly beans. (Thanksgiving is modifying jelly beans in that sentence.) I think about these things to keep my mind off of the fact that I hate running." From One Weird Dude

"I would rather talk about hair elsewhere on my body (since I am a very hirsute individual) than the hair on my head. This week I pulled a splendid hair out of my nose, so thick and black it looked like it was plastic." From Free as my hai-ai-ai-ai-ai-air

"Please don't misunderstand. I love Christmas. But "to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). So if you put up your Christmas tree or listen to yule music before Thanksgiving, you are disobeying the Bible." From The REAL most wonderful time of the year

"I did the math, and if I did it correctly, if you drew a line of which one inch equaled 1,000 years, from today to the time the dinosaurs died out would be over a mile long!" From In memoriam of the dinosaurs

"In all my days cleaning up after softball, baseball, volleyball, gymnastics, and women's conference, I've never seen so much garbage. I don't know if softball spectators eat more, or if they're just too lazy to clean up after themselves. (That's not an unreasonable assumption, since softball is a lazy game.)" From Immune system, put your armor back on!

Pomp and Circumstance

Well, it's official.

I'm a college graduate!

I'm not quite sure what to think of that. I've just gotten so used to being a college student. Hence my staying in Provo for the time being. But I had better find some hobbies, now that I don't have to study, because I can't watch Hulu all day.

Thursday was commencement services. We all lined up by the ASB until it was time to go up into the Marriott Center. They bestowed degrees on us; I now have a BA in English language. President Uchtdorf spoke briefly. The Samuelsons said they were "quasi-members" of the class of 2014, since they are being released. I never went to a basketball game, so I never did the "Whoosh Cecil." (In fact, at the Unforum right before finals, they did one, and I had no idea what to do.)

After commencement, I was feeling sad that I didn't have any good graduation pictures. But then I had an idea. In all my time in Provo, I had never hiked the Y. What an experience, I thought, if the first time I did so was in a cap and gown! So my roommate Jordan and a former wardie, Laura, went with me. I didn't put my cap on until I got to the top, because I didn't want it to get sweaty, but I wore the gown the whole way.

Two years ago in my semantics and pragmatics class, we learned about "the norm of civil inattention," which says that people in polite society will not talk to people they do not know, but there are a few exceptions. One exception is if a person is in an out-of-role situation. Going on a hike in a graduation gown is an obvious out-of-role situation, so I had lots of people congratulating me. And I was feeling quite happy then, because I barely hiked the Y as a student (kind of), and because I got the most creative graduation pictures of anyone I know.

The next morning, my parents came down for the College of the Humanities convocation, where I actually walked across the stage as they read my name and I got a diploma cover. I wasn't sure what to think of that meeting. The speakers seemed kind of pompous, and I'm prejudiced against English majors, which there were a lot of. They had the  graduates stand for various reasons. I stood up for saying I spoke a foreign language but sat down for speaking two, since it's been so long since I've studied Spanish. (I thought Advanced French Part 2 was good enough to count.) I was a little disappointed I didn't get any Latin words indicating my scholastic achievements--since I'm only good at academics, I'm pridefully disappointed when I'm not the best. But I don't think they mean that much--the person who got the highest honors in the college was in one of my classes and I read one of her papers, and I don't think she was much more brilliant than I am. Also, my major had relatively easy classes, and most of my non-A grades were from other colleges, including geology.

Another thing I didn't do was the Honors program. I honestly didn't do it because I was lazy, but there were other reasons as well. I think they've changed it, but when I started, the Honors program just meant you had to read a lot of books, see a lot of plays, watch a lot of movies, write a lot of papers, and write a thesis. It seemed like a lot of work for something that wouldn't really enrich my education. I think I had much more valuable experiences doing the second minor in geology. Years from now, I don't think I'll remember the books I read (or would have read), but I will remember Death Valley, Little Cottonwood Canyon, Capitol Reef, and Great Basin National Park.

I'm also glad that the editing minor provides me with practical knowledge. A lot of humanities majors have degrees that aren't particularly useful, no matter how interesting they may be--including my major. But I think my major mostly exists for the editing minor, and that's something I can use.

Now to embark on a new era of my life. 

Pâques

Well, this was the week I found out what I'm doing for spring.

And I'm staying in Provo!

My boss told me that he learned that I don't need to work on site, since I'm just an intern, and that it has worked well for him to just have me work remotely. He also said that I may need to work with some people in Provo--so if I'm living in Provo, it will make that easy.

Provo really is funnest (yes, a word) in spring and summer, what with Rooftop Concerts, pool parties, and a general laid-back attitude. This may be my last spring and summer in Provo, so I'm excited for it.

I just hope I don't get bored out of my mind working full time.

Monday night, I was up late, and then I got to see the very beginning of the lunar eclipse. Then my roommate Chad woke me up to look at it when it peaked. So I saw it all red. But I was mostly asleep, so when I woke up the next morning, I was like, "Oh yeah, I did see the eclipse last night." I got to see one of those back in 2011, when I was at an early-morning work shift.

On Tuesday, I went to my very last class ever. I gave a presentation about global warming in French--le réchauffement global--and then my professor sent me a very nice email about my presentation and how well I had done.

Then on Tuesday night, I went to the Andy Grammer concert on Tuesday. Apparently a long time ago BYU did really big concerts in the Marriott Center with really big musicians, like the Carpenters. Now they don't do that, so Andy Grammer ("Fine By Me," "Keep Your Head Up") in the Wilk ballroom is the closest thing. He's a talented singer, but I generally don't like male pop stars as much as female pop stars. I guess I associate acoustic guitars and male singers with John Mayer d-bag music. At one point, he was singing Macklemore's "Thrift Shop," and he was quite amused when everyone in unison sang "This is freaking awesome."

On Wednesday my ward did a bonfire, and I took Peeps Bunnies to roast. Some African girls wanted to try them, since they'd never had them. Later I saw each bunny with one ear bitten off, lying in the garbage. I guess if you didn't grow up with them you might not like them.

On Thursday morning, I helped out at the French language fair. That's when high school and junior high students from all over the state come and engage in various French-language activities and competitions. I was one of the people in charge of la gare, the train station. Basically the kids had to pretend they wanted to go someplace and we would ask them about what accommodations they wanted. It was funny to mimic smoking when they didn't understand fumeur ou non-fumeur. I participated in this back when I was in high school, and it was fun to be on the other side.

Then on Friday, I had my very last final. Ever. I don't know how I did on the first part; I felt like I couldn't explain why I was giving the answers I was. The second part was an essay, and one of the topics to choose from was gun control, and luckily I was able to make it very similar to the gun control blog post I made last year.

Then as I was packing up to go home for Easter weekend, I realized something shocking: I never have to study again. Last night the sister missionaries visited us to talk to the Primary president (my mom), and then before they left one of them asked me if I'm ready to be done with BYU. I'm a little burned out from schoolwork, but I'm not ready to be done with the BYU lifestyle--hence the reason I'm glad to stay in Provo.

With it being Easter, everyone has been expressing their testimony of Jesus Christ. I agree with James, that your belief in Christ is not helpful if you don't do anything with it. And I think Mormons are pretty good about that--I met lots of people on my mission who hated our church but said Mormons are good people. Which is in direct contrast to what Jesus said about men gathering figs of thistles. Regardless of your beliefs, only good can come from emulating the man who said "Cast the beam out of thine own eye" and "Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them."

Happy Easter!

The BYU Era

Just as the earth's history is divided into different eras, my life can be divided into different eras.

The Prescholastic Era includes the time up until I entered kindergarten. The Orchard Era makes up all seven years of elementary school. The South Davis Era has all three years of junior high, and the Woods Cross Era has all three years of high school. Then the Spokane Era makes up my mission.

Another era is coming to an end, the BYU Era. This week I will have my very last classes, my very last reading days, and my very last exam. I graduate a week later.

It kind of blows my mind that it's already over, basically. The BYU Era has been longer than the previous three. There is more time between now and my freshman year than there was between my freshman year and high school.

I like to think that I have changed over these last four years, and for the better. I thought that my mission wrought a mighty transformation in me. And I still believe that to be true. However, I think I underestimated the changing power of just two years. I think I changed on my mission more than I would have in just two ordinary years (spending 24/7 with someone you didn't choose and talking to strangers all day does that to you). But it didn't stop there. I think of myself as a fairly normal person, whereas  before I was totally weird. Now I'm on the weird end of normal, whereas before I was just weird. I think that my mission didn't make me normal, but it gave me the potential to be so. It was college life that turned me into a normal person.

I'm still very socially awkward, but I'm not as bad as I once was. If I so choose, I can hold a conversation with someone I don't know, even if it's stilted. I used to have an analogy that a shiny, red ornament would work on a pine tree but not on a black, dead, ugly Halloween tree. I used to say that I was a Halloween tree and therefore I couldn't have Christmas ornaments (normal things). I don't think that anymore. There are plenty of Christmas ornaments in my life now. I have become a better thinker, and as some questions in my life are answered, I get a lot more. My first year, I was a very good student and was very focused on my studies. Now I'm not as focused. Which I think is both good and bad.

Here's a recap on the BYU Era.

• In 2010, I started college as an awkward, freshly returned missionary. I had registered as an English major, but I realized I really wanted English Language (ELang), so that's what I did. My first room roommate, James, was not good for me, as he was the most extreme introvert I have ever met. But my other flatmates, the Jeffs, I think were very good roommates for me at that time in my life; I think they befriended me a lot better than some of my other roommates would have. I attended winter through summer, but I had to take off fall because I couldn't get a job in Provo. That turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I applied for scholarships for that fall, but they based scholarships on your GPA as of the previous fall semester. But I wasn't a student the previous fall, therefore I had no GPA, therefore I had no scholarship. But because I took the fall off, I had to say I wanted to be considered for scholarships when I returned--and at that point I did have a GPA, so I got a scholarship for the following winter, whereas if I had gone that fall, I would have had no scholarship for fall or for winter. I think they do things differently now, so that wouldn't have happened today.
• In 2011, I moved into the complex and ward where I live now. I officially declared myself an editing minor. I lived with some people who went to Woods Cross but whom I didn't know very well, and I lived with one of my former mission companions. I got a job setting up for and cleaning up after various sporting events--it was a decent job, but my boss didn't like me enough to hire me again later. I'm just not cut out to be a janitor. I spent all of summer term with no roommates, and most of that time was without air conditioning. I officially declared myself a geology minor in the summer, but I didn't know anything about it at the time. My dad lost his job, so without financial help from my parents, I had to take fall off again, and I was rehired at the Distribution Center, where I had worked the previous fall.
• In 2012, I moved into the apartment where I live now. I met Bryton, who may have been my favorite roommate ever. I took physical geology, which changed my life. I became friends with a bunch of girls whom I nicknamed "the horses." I started working for BYU Studies, which at that time was my lowest-paying job ever despite requiring the most education. I went to school winter through fall that year. One of my favorite experiences was going to Death Valley. I had to deal with a roommate whom I called a tarantula. 
• In 2013, I stayed in the same place, and I was called as ward clerk. I took classes winter, spring, and fall, but I took summer off to go on vacations to visit my nephews. I officially finished the editing minor in the spring, and though I technically finished the geology minor in the winter, I took the Field Studies class and Groundwater, which was less interesting than I had hoped. I finished my ELang classes. I thought that taking Groundwater prevented a December graduation, but in fact I could have graduated even with taking it--but I don't regret graduating in April.
• In 2014, I took my fifth and final winter semester, in which French was my only serious class. I interviewed with the Joseph Smith Papers and didn't get the job, but I was surprised when that interview led me to get a job with Reid Neilson, the managing director of the Church History Department. This job required me to leave BYU Studies, where I had been for nearly two years. 

As of this moment, I don't know what's going on with me in the spring, whether I will continue to work remotely in Provo or if I will move to Salt Lake. I should find out this week. Staying in Provo will provide a more gradual transition between the BYU Era and the next--but going to Salt Lake will end it immediately. 

I hope that the strata deposited in this era will serve as an important foundation for the eras still to come.

Why boycotting Mozilla was a bad idea

Dear gay rights activists,

I applaud your efforts to make this world a more loving, tolerant place. I don't oppose gay marriage, and I wish you luck in your attempts.

However, I think that far too often your efforts are counterproductive.

(Note that when I say "you," I'm speaking of the LGBT activism in general, not of individuals, because I know there are many diverging opinions within the community.)

What are these counterproductive activities? They are the--shall I call them attacks? Yes, for that's what they are--against people who disagree with you.

The most recent event was this week against Brendan Eich, the new CEO of Mozilla, who was pressured into stepping down because he donated to Proposition 8 back in 2008. However, there have been other victims as well, including the Chic-Fil-A guy and bakers and florists who decline to cater to gay weddings.

If anyone opposes gay marriage, you automatically characterize them as bigots and homophobes. And I'm sure there are lots of these kinds of people among those who oppose gay marriage.

However, if you would actually listen to people's concerns, you would learn that they have other worries about gay marriage. Many of them have personal and/or religious beliefs that such marriage is morally wrong. Whether or not you agree with that, they are entitled to their beliefs. But one of the biggest worries of same-sex marriage opponents is that the legalization of gay marriage will infringe on the rights of those who disagree with it.

You ensure them that they will not lose any of their rights, and that the only thing that will happen is that gay people will marry each other.

But then you go and make these attacks, and people see their concerns realized. In your attempts to quash homophobia, you actually give people a reason to fear homosexuals!

Take the New Mexico florist. As a private business owner, she should have the right to decline catering to a gay wedding. Regardless of what you think of that, she has her personal beliefs and should be able to follow them. But instead, she was fined.

And it wasn't even as bigoted as you might think. She would be willing to photograph people who are gay. She is not bigoted against gay people themselves; she just disagrees with the marriage. And as I said earlier, there are reasons to oppose gay marriage that aren't based in prejudice.

I'm not condoning her refusal; I just think she should have the freedom to do so.

One of the side effects of the LGBT movement that I really appreciate is the increased focus on bullying. I feel like they were largely responsible for bringing new-found attention to the problem.

But let's consider the Brendan Eich incident. A new CEO of a company--who, by the way, developed JavaScript--happened to donate some money half a decade ago, before he was the CEO, to a cause that you disagree with. He did so not as a representative of the company but as an individual. He did nothing to force his employees to agree with him. But because he did that, he should no longer be able to hold a job for which he is very well qualified.

If that's not bullying, I don't know what is.

I think if you were to do a little research, you would find that the CEO of every company has at least one personal idea that you disagree with. If we only did business with those we agreed with, we would be doing very limited business indeed!

Also, as far as things to boycott, Firefox is a very good service and not one to boycott. Although there are some things I prefer about Chrome, Firefox is my browser of choice. Not to mention that boycotting Mozilla because of the CEO doesn't take into account the other employees who agree with you.

Basically, my point is, if you want to gain sympathy for your cause, (1) don't label people bigots just because they disagree with you, and (2) don't try to destroy the lives of those who disagree with you.

You want them to let you live as you want. Be courteous enough to allow them the same thing.